{"id":15271,"date":"2011-03-23T12:30:54","date_gmt":"2011-03-23T19:30:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/?p=15271"},"modified":"2011-03-23T12:30:54","modified_gmt":"2011-03-23T19:30:54","slug":"designated-fat-girl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/?p=15271","title":{"rendered":"Designated Fat Girl"},"content":{"rendered":"

As I drove home from work last night, the sun was out and I was tempted to take my bike outside. The temptation was strong after spending a week in paradise (Tucson sun) but I also had Weeds on Netflix that I was dying to finish!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nIt had been two weeks since I did my home workout. I selected the Cardio Burst on the Nike Training App for the first part. I was extra sweaty as I did it.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nAfter the 15 minute Cardio work I switched to Ab work.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nIt was a good warm up. I did about 30 minutes before hopping on the bike. I burned 304 calories during the Nike App.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was nice getting back to the routine. The bike was good. I had some discomfort in my knee and leg but honestly I think it’s just the bike trainer. I never have pain when I’m riding outside.<\/p>\n

Stats:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Time: 1:15<\/strong>
\n Calories Burned: 677<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nMichael picked up a deLite pizza on the way home from the driving range. We’re floundering a bit without our Meal Planning. \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nIt was delicious. I ate three pieces.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nI tried to participate in the Twitter #fitblog chat as I peddled away. I’m the Queen of Multi-tasking. I was watching Weeds too. \ud83d\ude09 Last night’s chat was really good. There were a lot of thought provoking questions. One specifically:<\/p>\n

3. What fear(s) have you had to overcome in the past? What helped you?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I said:
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Q3: I overcame the fear that I would “always be fat.” 250 pounds no more. I ran Hood to Coast! I conquered it all!<\/span><\/p>\n

The topic of fear is really interesting to me. I think a lot of the problems with trying to lose weight is fear–fear of change<\/a>, fear of learning new things, fear of changing your lifestyle. It held me back<\/a> for years.<\/p>\n

Which brings me to the Designated Fat Girl. I started reading Designated Fat Girl<\/a> by Jennifer Joyner<\/a> last night.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The book is a quick, easy read yet it’s a difficult read because it brings up a lot of old memories and feelings for me. The story is about her life as a 330+ pound woman with a food addiction. The self-loathing, the negative hate talk she tells herself is all too familiar for me. It didn’t “trigger” me too much. I didn’t feel any urge to suddenly go binge–but I did feel lots of “icky” feelings in my stomach as I read it.<\/p>\n

In the Prologue, she describes a scene in the grocery store where someone made an insensitive comment about her weight. She immediately drove to a fast food joint and ordered a bunch of food.<\/p>\n

“At the McDonald’s down the street, I attempted to stuff down the incredible pain and sorrow. This was going to be a good day,<\/em> I tell myself. It’s hard to cry and eat at the same time, so I choose to eat. Like I always do. [pg x]”<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Eating my feelings. I did that a lot. Eating dessert and savoring every bite instead of facing what was going on was easier for me.<\/p>\n

She also makes a great point about being out in the open as a fat person:<\/p>\n

“Someone who is addicted to food isn’t allowed the luxury of anonymity; we wear our failures on our bodies for the world to see. I used to be envious of people with drug or alcohol problems. At least they could hide their addictions, if even for a little while, from the rest of the population. A fat person might as well wear a sign with flashing neon lights: I CAN’T CONTROL MYSELF!<\/strong> [pg 23]”<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I always felt like I was on display when I was 250+ pounds. Like everyone was staring at me, judging me, criticizing my weight. I just wanted to fade into the darkness and not be noticed. I had horrible posture–feeling like I could shrink into myself and not be seen. It wasn’t a happy place to be.<\/p>\n

QUESTION: Have you read this book? What did you think? And what fears have you conquered?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I drove home from work last night, the sun was out and I was tempted to take my bike outside. The temptation was strong after spending a week in paradise (Tucson sun) but I also had Weeds on Netflix that I was dying to finish! It had been two weeks since I did my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15272,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[322,2742,44,45,55,60,2721,1702,1202,1248,315,2372,101,104,152,154,2230,2778,258,281,282,298],"tags":[8772,405,8599,1314,2860,8770,2859,2862,582,2861,2037,2858,2248,8836,8682,8745,1129,1289,8758],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/DesignatedFatGirlBookCover-291x421.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15271"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15271"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15271\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15323,"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15271\/revisions\/15323"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/15272"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.110pounds.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}