Food Psych

I recently started listening to a podcast called Food Psych. I heard about it from someone on Twitter and decided to check it out. It’s about intuitive eating, breaking out of diet culture, eating disorder recovery and Healthy at Every Size.

I’ve listened to about 10 episodes so far. They are long, a little over an hour or so. Each episode starts with a Q&A and then the rest of the episode is an interview with someone new each week, depending on the topic.

I am finding it very informative and interesting.

I learned that bulimia isn’t always about throwing up after eating. It can also mean a binge and then a strict restriction period to “make up for” the binge. I did not know that.

I also learned about orthorexia.

It was interesting to hear this term and learn more about it. Reflecting on my time blogging and reading “Healthy Living Blogs” for almost a decade now, I can see clearly that that whole “thing” was probably orthorexia. Focusing on diet culture, weight loss, over-exercising, being rigid about workout schedules and only eating “healthy foods.” There was a blogger that put a carrot in a hot dog bun instead of eating a hot dog, and a bunch of other truly bizarre (and disordered) things.

I was definitely part of this culture. It makes me think long and hard about my own journey. The podcast talks about how 90% of people who lose weight cannot keep it off. I guess I fall into this category? I lost 110 pounds and kept it off for over 10 years. I think that is pretty commendable. But at the same time, I maintained my weight by strict workout schedules and very low calorie intake. I don’t know that I fall into the eating disorder category per se, but definitely the diet culture category.

Something that happened recently: Logan has been telling me repeatedly lately that he’s hungry. This is after a meal, he had plenty of food during the meal. Michael and I have questioned if he was hungry or bored. We offer “you can have applesauce or a banana or some carrots” and of course he says no. He wants the crackers or granola bar.

This has been very triggering to me. First, I remember being a kid and wanting a snack and my mom would offer fruit or vegetables only. I grew up in a very strict food house, in the 90’s when it was the all low-fat/non-fat/no-sugar craze. So we didn’t get “treats” which lead to me bingeing later.

So hearing my son tell me he’s hungry and he wants to have a sweet treat, is triggering. Michael and I have been very conscious about letting him be intuitive, not being strict with food. We don’t want him to grow up with body issues/food issues etc. I especially don’t want that because I know how it feels and what it leads to.

But here I am, Saturday afternoon when Logan has had some crackers and raisins as a snack (with watered down apple juice to drink) and he’s whining that he’s hungry and I feel MY food issues pop up and I am mixed: do I restrict him? Do I give in and potentially create not healthy eating habits?

Boys can have eating disorders, too. It’s not just girls, even if it USUALLY is girls. I don’t want Logan to grow up like I did. I don’t want him to have body shame, or become obese, etc. It’s a hard balance for me, especially since I am still trying to come to terms with my own food issues.

At one of Logan’s recent “well baby” check up appointments with his doctor, whom I REALLY liked, gave me pause. She weighed him and stuff and suggested we “monitor” his weight. I was flabbergasted. Logan has been in the 97% percentile for height his entire life. 95% sure he will be a very tall boy (my brother is 6’6) because there are a lot of tall men in both sides of the family. His weight was around the 50% percentile, as it has been his whole life as well. I didn’t question the doctor, partly because I was so surprised she even mentioned my toddler’s weight. But I left feeling like “WTF”. Logan is tall and skinny as a rail. His clothes in his size are always a little too big.

This was the first experience as a parent of “Body shaming” my kid. It stuck with me for months. And listening to Food Psych Podcast, I am hearing in these interviews of people who had their body and food issues start at a VERY young age. Like ME. I was 9 when I suddenly realized there was something “Wrong” with my body. (I was not fat in anyway, but I THOUGHT I was.)

I’m working through a lot of things right now, thinking about stuff. But I wanted to pass on the info about the podcast because I am really enjoying it and I think a lot of people will too.

Landslide & Bike Ride

I started off my weekend right! On Friday afternoon I got another chance to hang out with Suzanne and got a mini personal training session right on the streets of Portland. She wanted to check my form on some movements. She said I was pretty good but there were some tweaks I needed to make on a few. The big one was squats. I thought I had been doing them correctly because my physical therapist had corrected my form. But I was still putting too much pressure on my knees. Suzanne fixed that and I had a lightbulb moment.

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Basically I need to put ALL my weight on the back of my heel and not be putting it on my my whole foot. After work on Friday I went to yoga class and then home to some beer and pizza! Woohoo! Way to go Michael. It’s been ages since we got Papa Murphy’s (since Michael went gluten-free) and it was a nice treat to have it again. He got the deLite pizza (low calorie) and I enjoyed my beer on a hot summer night.

On Saturday morning I went out to test my bike and the changes the fitter made last weekend. It was already in the 80’s at 10 a.m. but once I was on the bike it was pleasant. Michael joined me and we drove to Sellwood, parked the car and picked up the Springwater Trail from there. There were just too many hills near our house in order to test my bike on a flat trail.

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My goal was to do between 8-10 miles of easy riding to test my knees. I had to remind myself a few times to slow down. Once I got on the trail I definitely pushed it a few times because I think I forgot what I was doing. I got on the trail I was so used to taking into work and it was like my body took over and my mind checked out–biking fast and hard like I used to. So I slowed it down. We almost crashed right out the gate because some walkers with a dog weren’t paying attention and let the dog have a super long leash. Michael stopped short and I was able to stop before crashing into him. Sigh. People.

The other annoyance: apparently there was a charity 3K walk on the trail that morning. Probably 100 people were walking, which would have been fine had they cared about anyone around them. The trail is narrow and very very crowded and these walkers decided to walk 7 people wide so no one could get around them going either direction. So frustrating. That is definitely something I don’t miss about the trail–inconsiderate people!

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We got to downtown on the east side of the esplanade and called it good. I was feeling really great. I had no knee pain during the ride–but honestly, this past year of bullshit knee stuff has taught me that I RARELY have pain during an activity–it’s always later. So I was still unsure if I was okay. We stopped in the shade to rest for a moment before turning around.

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During the ride my heart rate was pretty high–between 140 and 150 most of the time. That was pretty high for me. When I was riding consistently I definitely had a high heart rate at certain points of the trail, but not the entire time. I don’t think I was working extra hard on Saturday but I do think it was a combination of not having the cycling fitness and also nerves. Either way, I had a decent calorie burn for the one hour ride!

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We got back to the car and I was dripping in sweat. Thankfully the ride back didn’t have any charity walkers and the trail was pretty clear. I was so glad I went out and tested my knees. I don’t really know where to go from here–only time will tell.

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We got home and did a quickie strength routine together–Michael showed me a few kettle bell moves and then it was time for lunch. It was such a nice day I wanted to sit outside so we went to Cartlandia to get lunch at the food carts. We both ended up getting salads from the Good and Evil Wrap cart. And of course I got the same thing I always get– the Buffalo chicken salad. I am obsessed with that salad. It’s so good though!

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We lounged in the shade and ate our delicious lunches and discussed our next move. After lunch we ended up going to see Man Of Steel. I was disappointed. I felt like the movie lacked soul and passion. There was no chemistry between Superman and Lois Lane. The store was absurd at times. I won’t say too much else because I don’t want to give it away but it could have been so much better. Oh well…

The Next Day

How were my knees? They were okay. I wasn’t in pain but I was definitely tight and uncomfortable. I don’t know yet how to distinguish between normal feelings and abnormal in my knees because things have been so IFFY for so long. I *think* it was just normal soreness because Monday I woke up totally fine.

Speaking of the next day…I had a FANTASTIC Sunday night! I’m still glowing. I met my cousin Anna at Slow Bar for dinner before we went and saw FLEETWOOD MAC!!!! One of my all-time favorite bands since I was a little kid (the other being Michael Jackson, of course–when I was 4 years old and got my very first record of Thriller).

We shared a few laughs, some Bloody Mary’s (fantastic Bloody’s at Slow Bar!) and split a veggie burger, salad and some fries. It was the perfect amount for dinner on a 95+ degree day.

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The concert was at the Rose Garden and it was a sold out show. We got the middle of the road tickets and had great seats! There was no opening band and Fleetwood Mac (minus Christine) was all there and they played nearly 3 hours straight with no breaks. They also told lots of stories and stuff in between some of the jokes. It was very cool to hear about how certain songs came to be.

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The video isn’t great, I took it from my seat at last night’s show, but the audio is fantastic. Enjoy Landslide!


They played all the hits, some older stuff that wasn’t as well known and two new songs. Everyone sounded absolutely fantastic. I was just blown away by how real and amazing they sounded. Hands down, one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to. I am still glowing with happiness! 🙂

QUESTION: What was your highlight of the weekend? Favorite live show?