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Lose 100 Pounds, Lose Friends?

Lisa Eirene

About Lisa Eirene Lisa lost 110 pounds through calorie counting and exercise. She swims, bikes, runs, hikes and is enjoying life in Portland, Oregon. Her weight loss story has been featured in First Magazine, Yahoo Health, Woman's Day and Glamour.com.

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52 Comments

  1. Leslie

    Lisa, I very much appreciated reading this. What a bare-all kind of story and I think it’s really admirable for you to share it. After my parents died, I sort of had an eye-opening kind of moment. I decided to surround myself with positive people and try and get rid of the negative baggage. Of course I still fall back sometimes, but I really try to remind myself of that. My aunt said something really funny, but really true once and I’ll never forget it. She said, “true friends and family are the ones that know the real you and love you in spite of it.”
    And as for HTC, don’t you dare let anyone take away from your accomplishment. I was there…I was tired….I was hurt and it kicked my a** just as much as the next person. You rocked it and you should hold your head up high!

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Aw Leslie! Thanks! Your aunt is VERY wise and my mom said something similar. Basically, if they were really my friends, they’d still be around. It’s sad but true.

  2. Lisa

    I found your blog on a twitter link. You are right, I stayed going to the gym more and more as a way to loose weight and my journey has been slow. I had friends that I hang out with and they revolved around food so I tried to cut them out of my life. not everything I do has to revolve around food. Also they told me that I was spending too much time at the gym. I felt that they were jealous because I was trying to better myself and they weren’t doing anything to better themselves. Now I limit my self to how often I see them and I know they feel bad about it but I can’t let them stop me!

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I got that in the beginning too…friends complaining I spent too much time working out. We have to take care of ourselves first, though.

  3. Amber from Girl with the Red Hair

    I feel like I have grown a lot more distant with some of my friends that just like to party. Since I’m so young, a lot of my friends are still in the single, partying, junk food stages of their lives and I am SO NOT. All the women I work out with are 30+ because none of my friends my age are into running or yoga like I am. It can be disheartening sometimes.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Good for you realizing that the “party girls” aren’t necessarily what you’re looking for. I think that’s common in your 20’s. I definitely went through that.

  4. Nicki

    pttttttt….. Girl, you’ve got it going on! I am so inspired by you and hood-to-coast. I have my first 1/2 marathon coming up in a month and i’m terrified! Seeing you get through HTC made me happy and a little less scared! You’ve gained so much more than you lost! Keep your chin up! This was a great post! PS. I’m making your mac and cheese this weekend! 😀

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I LOVE your quote! “You’ve gained so much more than you lost!” I will definitely use that in the future. And let me know how the mac n’cheese goes! Yippee!!

  5. rob

    Lisa, I honestly don’t remember how I found your blog — twitter maybe? — but I was *hooked* when you were posting all your Hood to Coast updates. Anyone who wasn’t impressed with that wasn’t reading your blog. Thanks for yet another great post.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Thank you Rob! I’m glad you enjoyed reading about Hood to Coast. I loved writing the recaps. I got to relive the experience!

  6. Becky

    Lisa–what an open and honest post. It was kind of hard to read because it was heart breaking! I had never thought about friendship in terms of weight, but I see that it can easily happen. Right now I am losing one of my best friends because I’ve made the decision to get healthy and she resents it. It’s so dumb to let weight get in the way of a friendship, but it seems to be more frequent than I thought.

    Your Ex Friends definitely have lost out on a wonderful person. Although I know you only through your blog, you seem like a very upbeat and fun individual. I’m glad you’ve found new friends along the way that make the loss a bit more bearable.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I’m sorry you are going through it too. And I agree…it seems like such a stupid thing to lose friends over!

      1. Becky

        By the way…I gave you a blogger award. I love your site–so inspirational and honest.

        1. Lisa Eirene

          Thank you! I am so happy I can inspire people. 🙂

  7. Mary (A Merry Life)

    Honestly I think it’s impossible not to lose a few friends. If you lose 100 pounds, or even a smaller amount, you change who you are. It’s impossible not to. And sometimes that changes who wants to be your friends. I don’t think it’s a bad thing even though it might hurt like hell, it’s just friends sometimes are friends because of common interests and that changes when you lose weight.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Very true and sometimes those common interests are food, eating, indulging and complaining about being fat–without making any changes.

  8. Yum Yucky

    yes Yes YES! Finding yourself is indeed part of the journey. I’ve had friends fade, not necessarily for your same reasoning, but all the same, I understand.

  9. Yum Yucky

    Wait. I forgot to tell you… you look fantastic.

  10. Carbzilla

    Great posts and hugs to you, my friend. Losing friends can happen with weight loss, and it can just happen. I’m not sure there’s anyone who hasn’t gone through the loss of a friend. I lost my best friend after 28 years – she just completely walked away from our friendship. Sad but I survived.

    But anyone who downplays H2C – that’s just nuts. You see that, right?

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Yes, I see that it’s nuts. And I know it’s out of jealousy on her part. I get that…

  11. Ashley

    I lost a friend or two, too. Even if they’re not overweight, they’re jealous of your success. It’s ridiculous. I have RELATIVES who have never once commented on my weight loss.

    I found it interesting that you wrote that “the old person is dead.” Do you really think you’ve changed completely? I came across this line in the book I’m reading, and I think it applied to my weight loss: “People grow, but they don’t change.” My habits have certainly changed, but I’m still the same person (mostly).

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I think I am a different person. I was a very depressed person when I was 250. I wasn’t happy at all. I am definitely different now. Not just 100 pounds lighter.

  12. Jenny

    There is nothing better in the whole world than being smaller in size, but larger in voice.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I love that. What a great sentiment!

  13. stacia ( midlifeswimmer)

    THIS is a freaky fact isn’t it? I have lost so many friends its a trip!

  14. Debbie

    I am also on a great weight loss to better health journey and was shocked recently when one of my BEST friends for the last 25 years did not even respond when I emailed her that I won 2nd place in a health challenge. I sent her a link to the site with my before and after photo and it was just crazy to me that I got no response. I have to assume she got the email (she lives in another state) but maybe there was some glitch. But I think not because I had earlier sent her an email that I was doing this. I am glad you decided to talk about this on your blog!

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I’m sorry your friend wasn’t receptive! Congratulations on your accomplishment. I hope it was a glitch that she didn’t respond. 🙁

  15. Jennifer is Always Sick

    I’m glad you posted this. I would say that true friends are supportive and happy for you when you make a special achievement, or if you set out to do something and actually DO IT! I think anyone who downplays the accomplishment or treats you differently isn’t really a friend and probably never was. Honestly, and I mean no disrespect, it seems to me like jealousy. They might not even realize it. Of course, I’m not trying to inflate your ego or anything, and I wouldn’t want to think that anyone was jealous of me because that would make me feel horrible, but the green monster comes out sometimes.

    Instead of acting like this, they should have looked to you for inspiration and asked you to help them do the same and improve their health and lives too. That’s what friends are for – helping each other out and being there for one another.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Thanks, Jennifer. I think I’ve gotten to the point in my life where the not real friends have disappeared. Sucks, but it’s true.

  16. Marlene

    I have lost 70lbs and lost a close family member due to jealousy… I could not have anticipated that at all! I can’t let that stop me though! You are amazing..

    1. Lisa Eirene

      GOOD! Don’t let that stop you!

  17. Karen

    Seems to me the ex-friends were never true friends to begin with.

  18. Katy

    What a great post Lisa! This must have been hard to write about . You have a great story to tell!

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Thanks for reading Katy! 🙂 -Lisa

  19. Rosie's Healthy Lifestyle Blog

    This post means a lot to me today. I have a friend who was my best friend, and we have grown apart over the last few months. I have lost close to fifty pounds over the last few months. My mom suggested to me tonight that maybe it was because of my weight loss. I said to her there was no way that was why! But the thought has been nagging at me ever since. Could that be why we aren’t really friends anymore? Is it because I’m not the fat friend anymore, so she isn’t my “superior” anymore? It’s a lot to take in. Very powerful post.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It’s a really hard situation and it’s not easy to just “move on.” At least, it’s not easy for me.

  20. Risk vs. Reward » 110 Pounds and Counting

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  22. dj

    This means a lot to me. Currently, I can only explain it as growing pains, my friends are overweight as well, and they are sooo bothered by my 5k races, my swimming and my weight loss journey. It really hurts. I can imagine two of them falling completely away. I have also been bothered on the flip side by people who wouldn’t have befriended me when I was heavier, and are the type who only befriend “skinny” people.

    Thanks for sharing.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      It’s the part of the “losing weight” process that a lot of people don’t talk about. Losing our friends we were “fat” with together. If they don’t make the journey there’s jealousy, resentment and annoyance. Probably on both parts. It’s really really hard.

  23. Tracie

    My friend Jill at getupandgetmoving.net never lost 1 friend. She is my health coach now but I have heard that people to lose friends when they drop so much weight, Jill lost 100 and I am hoping to drop 120 total when I am done. It saddens me that people would lose friends over something so great.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I’m glad your friend didn’t lose any friends in her journey. That’s not always the case, unfortunately.

  24. Jennifer

    I found your blog while browsing other blogs. Let me just tell you – I could have written this! I have lost 125 pounds and lost nearly every friend I had in the process. I unfortunately haven’t gotten past the hurt – but your article was very helpful and I hope your words of wisdom help me move on! Thank you for writing this!!!
    Jennifer recently posted..Weigh-in Thursday

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I’m so sorry you went through it as well. It’s hard to let it go. I struggle with it. Sometimes I feel sad and angry still.

      Congratulations on your weight loss. That’s amazing!

  25. D. Haridass

    I have been on both ends. I have lost weight and did not lose the friends. I gained thhe weight back and found I was more OK with myself. A friend lost some weight in a short amount of time. This may only be my perception but she did become very self-absorbed with posting every single detail of her weight loss to a video of a doctor’s visit. Gone were the emails talking of what friends will share with each other but emails were only of weight loss videos for me to watch. All she talks about now is her new body and how in love she is with herself. It is sad as she has alienated a lot of good people. JMO.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Sure I can see that if someone’s life changes drastically and that’s all they talk about it can alienate some people. Despite having this blog and having this “weight loss persona” online, it’s not something that I talk about all the time in my personal life. I’ve become this person, who I am now, and I often forget about the “old me” and how I used to be. It’s just not something I talk about all the time.

      1. D. Haridass

        Thank-you for posting my response and for your nice reply. It is really bad when people become this new persona and talk nothing of weight loss all of the time or have to make comments of what they cannot eat at every single gathering. Many people go through changes in life and find the friends closest to them are no more. I would gather it is the same with a divorce where married friends would be afraid that they may end up in the same situation. The friend I know is always talking of how she will never be heavy again and is always trying to push her dieting onto others. Yet, there are people who cannot be happy for another person. That funny thing called “relating to others…” Congrats on meeting your goals.

  26. Fitness and Finding Love » 110 Pounds and Counting

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  28. I ❤ 2 Eat

    Great post, Lisa! I wasn’t a reader back when you wrote this post, but your post just inspired me to also address the issue of losing friends. I’m going to write a post on my blog. 🙂 Thanks!
    I ❤ 2 Eat recently posted..When In Doubt, Dig

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I will look for your post. Thanks!

  29. Anonymous

    i just read this blog and have to agree 100%. unfortunately not everyone is going to be supportive of the weight loss. i lost about 20-25 pounds back in college and maintained that weight loss for nearly 20 years. it’s been hard. along the way, i had people shaming me for looking too slim and not being supportive of my new look. before i lost weight, people made fun of my fuller physique and appearance. basically – no one is going to tell me that i look good. so i had to take it upon myself and be happy with who i am and how i look. i ignore what others have to say (i.e. eat a burger or you’re eating too much!) and do what i want.

    i also lost friends from when i tried to dress more professionally. they were jealous and even had the audacity to admit as much. i got comments that i looked snooty and was not the same person. no – i am not, but i want to improve upon myself. anyone who dares to stop a person’s journey to improve is not a good friend, but rather a toxic person.

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