“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.” -Leo F. Buscaglia
Risk vs. Reward
Every day we make choices in our lives based on the Risk versus the Reward we’ll get for doing it. Are you taking risks in your life?
Can you imagine the horror I felt of getting into a swimming suit at 250 pounds and going to the local community pool? I shudder just remembering the anxiety and pain I felt. It was a huge thing for me to do that.
I did it anyway. I decided “Who cares what people think? I want to swim.” So I scurried into the pool as quickly as possible and guess what? Once I was in the water I never felt self-conscious. I am so glad I took that first step, that first risk, because I never would have lost 100 pounds had I not risked everything.
I was nervous about signing up for Hood to Coast. I doubted my running abilities–especially the closer I got to the Big Day! I am SO glad I took the risk!
I completed Hood to Coast RUNNING. I may have injured myself a week later, but I ran (no walking) the whole damn thing. 🙂
Risks of Losing Weight
Risk: Losing Friends
Shedding extra weight can have a negative impact on your relationships with other people. Especially those who also have weight issues. I’ve written about this before. Not everyone will join you in your journey to a healthier you–but if they don’t, were they really your friends to begin with?
- Is my partner going to leave me if I lose weight? (Don’t let someone else keep you from doing what is right for you!)
- Will my friends disappear if I get healthy and they don’t? (Yeah maybe you don’t go to happy hour once a week anymore, how about getting your friends to go for a walk instead?)
- Will family support me or sabotage me? (Stay strong!)
Be prepared for these scenarios so that you aren’t surprised if they happen. If people make snide comments about getting healthy–be prepared with a polite comeback. And remember: you are changing your life for the better and that is a GOOD thing. No matter what snide comment someone might make; they are just jealous of your determination.
The real friends will be there no matter what you weigh.
Risk: Being Called “Selfish”
People are pretty ingrained in their routines and lives and any change causes distress for some people. If you suddenly want to start eating healthy and working out, expect some blow-back from family. If your kids are used to eating junk food and suddenly there’s none in the house…will they throw a tantrum? Probably. Is it good for them? For sure.
Expect guilt trips. When Michael and I first started dating we spent a lot of time together like most people do in new relationships. I tried to balance my time with Michael and other friends with my workout routines. There were definitely times when Michael would tempt me into skipping the pool and instead hang out with him. And of course I wanted to spend more time with him so I felt guilty and I felt torn between the two “loves.” We eventually found a happy space and he realized how important fitness is for me. He knows that I will workout and that it makes me happier if I do–in turn, he’ll be happier too because who wants to hang out with a cranky pants?
Michael never complains about me working out now. When I go to the gym he uses that opportunity to watch sports on TV (because I never want to). And I make an effort to do activities that we can do together! Everyone is happy.
So many times I said “I just CAN’T lose weight” or “I’ve tried everything!” But I really hadn’t tried everything! In fact, I hadn’t sincerely tried at all. But if you never even TRY that’s a failure!
“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” ~Elbert Hubbard
The reward is so sweet. Sweeter than overindulging in chocolate ice cream and feeling guilty afterward. The reward was so worth it for me! What rewards are you looking forward to getting?
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide
QUESTION: So what risk are you going to take today?
You’re so right about failing, if you don’t at least try. I like that mantra! Cheers, Rick
LOVED this post! My next risk is signing up for so many dang half marathons when I haven’t even ran one!
That failure one is so hard. But I DID take a risk this morning by doing a workout video. I hate doing new types of workouts because I know I will look ridiculous (even if I’m in my own home!) and what if I can’t even keep up. I’m always afraid of failing all it. However, this morning, I got up and did a new workout video. I finally realized, what is the worse that will happen? I’ll get my heart rate up. Isn’t that the point?
Sometimes its just a battle with nobody but ourselves.
I like that…”it’s a battle with nobody but ourselves…” So true!
Bethany @Bridezilla Bakes
I love how you described your relationship with Michael and how it’s evolved when it comes to fitness. I think my husband has definitely learned that working out is something we can enjoy together, and in general, adds so much to our quality of life. We’re not sacrificing “us” — it’s an investment in our relationship, in a way, because it makes us both happier, healthier, and more confident in who we are. That makes a better marriage.
Elizabeth@Fat Girls Fight Back
I’m trying to face my fear about going to a pool for exercise. One of the gyms very close to home has the pool with “classes” in the pool. I know I’d love it! But, the hitch is the pool is in the front of the gym surrounded by windows to the outside. Every person that drives through the busy shopping center can see in the windows. . .my comfort level at 328lbs in a bathing suit just isn’t there yet. Eventually yes, but not yet.
I’ll keep this blog in my mind. Hopefully I can overcome this fear sooner rather than later.
Keep me posted Elizabeth.
I cannot imagine swimming in front of a big window for everyone to see. What a silly design!
Shrinking Mommy of 2
Great post. You know I have lost 85 lbs and to this day my inlaws have not said a word. I fortunately have not lost friends over my weight loss but probably have gained a few. Many ask how I did it and ask me for advice (and trust me I am not expert!)
Isn’t that unfortunate? I have a friend who was my best friend for most of my life until a few years ago…she NEVER once said something about my weight loss. She never said “Good job” or “You look Great!” Nothing.
Oh yeah, I can relate. I have fewer friends from my fat days but stronger relationships forged during the journey. I have a sibling who is both proud of me and hates me for being (in her words) “The skinny bitch.” She makes snide comments and tried (without success) to rally my overweight adult daughters to ‘pick on mommy’. I have to let that go even though it hurts because I know she is hurting at her own life and I cannot change that.
My spouse has joined the journey and enjoys the benefits. 😉
Oh, that makes me sad about your sister. And that’s not cool “pick on mommy.” 🙁 I hope she can turn around her feelings and be happy for you someday.
Losing weight definitely as straight forward as you think, but I think the rewards far, far, FAR outweigh the risks. Alright, you may lose a couple of friends, or face some snidy comments. But when you ARE your goal weight and fit and healthy nothing can take that away. Personally, I’d rather have snide comments about my losing weight than snide comments about being overweight.
What a great post! The risks are so true, I have not even lost all the weight and I can already see who my real friends are.
Rewards for me will be a healthier life, more confidence, fitting into society a lot easier. There is so many rewards that come with weight loss – too much to name 🙂