Jun 072016
 

Busy weekend! Friday I went back to work. Then Saturday I went to the gym and ran 1.75 miles on the treadmill. It was 100+ degrees in Portland this weekend (TOO HOT) so it was nice to be in a cool gym.

Getting back into running is going slowly. Some days I feel great when I run, some days it feels like my body is just not ready yet. This particular run felt great and I amped it up a bit. Instead of jogging/running for 90 seconds, then walking for a 60 seconds, rinse repeat…I was running for three minute intervals and walking for one minute. It felt great and I was happy that I was able to go that long after such a long break.

Then I did about 15 minutes on the stairmaster and finished up with some weight lifting.

FullSizeRender-2

It was a good workout. The bad news is that sometime in the last 5 days I did something to screw up my back. I’m not sure what it is but Saturday it felt really, really aggravated. I don’t know if I strained it picking up the baby so many times, or if doing the ab machines at the gym did it, or if it’s a flare up of my bulging disc issue I had last March…but it sucks. UGH! Really poor timing for a back injury. πŸ™

Anyways, Saturday afternoon we drove out to Hillsboro (about an hour drive from our house) to go to a birthday party. It was a friend’s daughter’s FIRST birthday! So cute and so much fun. Logan got all dressed up for it:

FullSizeRender

He was a real party animal! He slept in a little baby rocker swing thing the whole time. πŸ˜‰

Sunday a friend stopped by for breakfast and to meet Logan. It was nice to spend some time catching up and the little guy put on quite the show for her–all smiles and giggles!

Then I went swimming, crossing my fingers it felt good on my back. And in a way it did feel good, but as soon as I was done swimming and out of the pool it was NOT good. Hot tub felt nice, steam room and sauna felt great. The nap I took that afternoon felt great…but still, back was cranky.

Sunday night we had some friends over for dinner. It was another 100+ degree day in Portland and they do not have AC in their house so we thought it would be nice to have them over for some relief. It had also been a little while since we saw them so it was good to catch up and be social after two months of sleep-deprived anti-social behavior.Β πŸ˜‰

Logan was absolutely fascinated and riveted by the 8 year old and 3 year old boys!

IMG_1864

Since it was so hot I drank lighter beers and ciders:

Dinner was grilled up flanked steak, salad and corn. Ice cream for dessert.

IMG_1868

Logan did great and took a little nap while we ate, which was nice.

IMG_1867

And he slept from 10pm to nearly 6am!!! I think the trick is being social and putting him to bed late. Whatever the cause was, it was a nice treat since Monday was my first day working from home. Getting some extra (and real) sleep was nice. πŸ™‚

Jun 062016
 

Well, my maternity leave is over.

IMG_1801

Last Friday was my first day back in the office. All week I was dreading it. I was anxious, I was sad, I had nightmares several nights about pumping at work. I bawled my eyes out for a few days leading up to. I snuggled Logan until he was like “mom, give it a rest!” I just couldn’t believe our time was up. πŸ™

IMG_1744

Friday came. My alarm on my phone didn’t go off for some reason but thankfully I had a built in alarm clock for 6am — Logan! But it was not a good start to the day. Nothing seemed to be going right but I finally got out of the door and made it to work on time. Carrying a crap ton of stuff.

IMG_1831

A coworker left me a card and a little gift that was really sweet. Everyone was really supportive and understanding. I was able to hold it together (for the most part) and honestly I was so busy it was a good distraction and the only time I started to feel sad was when I was pumping and had quiet time to myself. Michael sent me a photo:

IMG_1826

I thought heΒ looked sad. Then he sent me another photo:

IMG_1833

All better! Back to his sweet self.

So in a lot of ways it was easy to be back in the office. I was busy enough, but not overwhelmed, and could be distracted. It was nice to be working again and using my brain for something other than baby talk and changing diapers πŸ™‚ — as much as I love doing that with Logan. Just knowing myself, I know that being home full time wouldn’t be best for me. As much as I want it to be.

When I first talked to my boss about maternity leave and options she brought up the idea of working from home part time and working in the office part time. She told me a story about someone she worked with years ago at a different office who came back from maternity leave and cried in her office all day for a week and then finally just packed her shit up and left, no notice, just quit. She couldn’t handle it. I remember hearing this story (when I was 8.5 months pregnant) feeling awful for that woman and then thinking that while I’d be sad, I didn’t think that would be me…

Fast forward to last week. Crying for a week! Instead of relishing every single second with Logan during our last week home I kept focusing on the sadness. And I got it. I understood what my boss was telling me.

My boss has been amazing in her support for family bonding, for breastfeeding, everything. These are issues that she feels strongly about and I am so grateful for that.

So the downside to work? Pumping at work kind of sucks. I was in a room that unfortunately didn’t lock and twice people attempted to come in. Then my boss saved the day and told me to use her office when I needed to pump. It really is a stressful, anxiety-inducing thing to be pumping at work (at least for me). I felt really vulnerable and not having a truly private room stressed me out! But, using my boss’s office I was able to pump the rest of the day with no issues.

IMG_1834

I was able to drink a lot of water throughout the day. I pumped three times while at work. I didn’t eat enough and was really hungry but too busy to eat. That’s not good, I need to work on that!

Despite the rocky start to the day, it was actually okay and I did alright. I remember my job!! It was like a muscle memory thing. Once I started doing it again it all came back to me and I was able to do it without thinking about it. So that’s good. I got everything ready for working from home and (crossing my fingers that technology works at home) am ready to get started!

Friday afternoon I got a little surprise delivery:

IMG_1832

Flowers delivered to my office from Michael! It was so incredibly sweet and thoughtful and it really made my day (and made me tear up a little bit at the thoughtfulness). It was so wonderful!

IMG_1835

I was supposed to be off work at 4:30 but stayed late to get my laptop up and running (it took all day unfortunately). I raced home, anxious and excited to see my little guy! And kiss my other guy. πŸ™‚

I asked Logan if he forgot about me and if he missed me and he giggled. We nursed and I smothered him in kisses and then Michael made the evening even better than it already could be and got take out sushi!!

IMG_1836
Love me some spicy tuna! I’ve been craving sushi lately, too. Opened a bottle of wine and I cuddled with my little guy. So all in all, it was a pretty good day, despite the bumps in the road and the heartache of leaving Logan all day for the first time.

I feel prepared to go back to the office. I think it will be okay. I’m almost looking forward to it in a weird way. Having a schedule, structure and routine is basically my entire life. πŸ™‚ So going forward I will be in the office two days a week and home three days a week for the summer. Michael will be working from home those two days, so that’s awesome. I feel so incredibly lucky and fortunate that we have this opportunity for our family!