Holidays

Pumpkins in the Gorge

Michael’s dad came to Portland for a short visit this weekend. On Saturday we were all up bright and early for various reasons (baby and time changes!) and I went to the gym, then home to clean up and we hit the road for a day trip. We listened to the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers greatest hits as we drove out to the Gorge, destination: Hood River.

It was pretty crazy seeing the damage from the wild fires. Multnomah Falls is closed, as are a lot of other popular hikes in the Gorge. I posted some photos on my instagram. It was really sad, and kind of shocking, to see the damage in person. I think I-84 only opened up a week ago, too. It’s been closed for almost a month I think. Crazy.

We stopped at Double Mountain Brewery for lunch. Logan did great. We timed the drive right and he napped for an hour on the drive so when we arrived he was ready for lunch. We also lucked out and got there before the mad-rush for lunch. Usually there are super long lines to get in.

We got a pizza and I got three tastes: Killer Green, Killer Lion and Hop Lava (all IPAs).

It all really hit the spot. After lunch we stopped at Cathedral Ridge so we could pick up our quarterly case of wine from our membership (like 2 months late–partly because we had no time and partly due to the wildfires). I was surprised at how few people were there on a Saturday afternoon. Usually the tasting room would be super packed. I guess a lot of people haven’t ventured into the Gorge since the fires.

Then it was time for pumpkins!

We got to Packer Orchards near the Wy’East Winery after lunch. We discovered it last year around this time when Logan was an itty bitty baby! This year was SO much fun because Logan is big enough to DO stuff now! He was so excited when we got there. He was ready to explore!

We chose not to do the corn maze/hay ride extravaganza this year. Logan is still a bit too young for that and it was about $20 for a family to do all the activities together. Next year I think it will be great! The nice thing about Packer Orchards is that there was TONS of stuff to do for free. They had the places you could take photos and the giant pumpkin, of course.

Logan was sort of good while we tried to take photos. 😉 He was just too excited and distracted to sit still for long.

They had a ton of carts you could use for picking pumpkins. Logan just wanted to ride around in the cart. So Michael and his dad took turns taking Logan around in the cart.

There was a giant (free) hay stack that kids could climb and play on. The hay rides looked really fun. Next year! Then we discovered that there was a giant “sand box” that was filled with dry corn! Wow! It was so cool. All the kids loved it. Logan wasn’t quite sure at first and then he loved it. What a cool idea.

So we walked around a bit and then decided it was time to pick a pumpkin. Logan zeroed in on the one he wanted right away.

He picked the tiny white pumpkin that fit in his hands. We tried to get him to pick another bigger one to take home, too, but he wasn’t having any of it. He just wanted his tiny pumpkin!

And Packer Orchards was super sweet, we went up to pay for it and I guess because it was so small (and Logan is so cute LOL) they said it was free. Sweet!

The above two photos are my absolute favorites of the day. He looks so dang cute! I am so glad we went and had a great day. It was such a fun, sweet outing to see everything through Logan’s eyes. Everything was amazing to him and he had a blast. Can’t wait for next year!

It was getting late in the afternoon so we got three pipin’ hot fresh out of the fryer apple cider donuts to go and Logan loved that, too. Of course he did! He’s my kid. 😉 And we headed back to Portland.

Getting Serious

I loved this article so much. If you have the time, give it a read: How to Feel Better About Not Being as Good as You “Should” Be. It definitely speaks to where I am at currently.

Life is a lot different these days. In some ways it’s the same as it was pre-baby. Work, chores, life, gym, friends and family. It’s similar in routine, we just have a little life with us now. 🙂

But I’m different. My priorities have shifted. My body is different, obviously. And it’s hard to come to terms with that. I was making some progress with weight loss this summer. I lost about 4-ish pounds and was feeling re-energized and motivated.

Then that plateaued. I stalled out. Then I ran into some issues. Sure I could make excuses but the facts are: I was stressed out about Logan starting daycare and did some stress eating. I regained a few of those pounds I’d lost and that was very discouraging. The other fact: I had a major decrease in my milk supply when I tried to reduce my calories.

I wrote a post a few months ago about wanting to get back into fitness and that I wanted to lose some weight but that I obviously Logan was the priority and if I saw a cause and effect in my dieting and milk supply I would back off.

So I did.

I kept working out 4-5 times a week and I was still counting my calories. My priority was feeding Logan. I was disappointed I had to take a break from trying to lose weight but I reminded myself what my priority was at that moment. I came to terms with the fact that my weight loss goals would probably have to wait until I was done breastfeeding.

I started to write this post several months ago. Then we started getting sick. All.The.Time. Seriously–too many colds to count, bronchitis TWICE, sinus infection TWICE, freakin’ pink eye…! It felt like we’d never be well again. Everyone in our house was sick. I’d get back on track with the gym and get in one or two workouts and then I’d get sick AGAIN and take a week off from the gym.

For the last month I’ve been feeling pretty depressed. A big part of that is the constant illnesses. You just don’t feel good about yourself or life when you are sick. And exercise has always been a positive way that I relieve stress and improve my mood. Not being able to do that consistently has effected my moods more than anything, I think.

Waiting to lose weight has been a hard thing to reconcile in my mind, though. Especially since my “identity” has kind of been “the girl who lost 110 pounds” for so long.

Well, recently I’ve come to the realization that I think breastfeeding is coming to an end soon. My supply has dwindled to less than half of what it was. Logan is less interested in breastfeeding and I reached my goal of breastfeeding for 9 months. So starting in January I think I’m going to start slowly weaning and then focusing on my health and losing weight.

I won’t lie — I’m having a hard time with all of this. I’m struggling with the idea of quitting breastfeeding, even if it’s time. I’m feeling very emotional about all of that.

I’m also struggling with going back to being restrictive with my diet in order to lose weight. I thought those days were long over–and that I could easily lose weight doing what I’ve done for 10 years. But the reality is, I’m going to have to buckle down and cut my calories, say no to that second glass of wine, cut out sweets and stop eating old trigger foods (like pizza) in order to lose.

I’ve preached “eating in moderation” and not starving yourself for years and I plan on following my own advice. But I also need to stop making excuses for eating one more cookie or snacking on crap and not logging it. I need to be accountable to myself and honest. 

The day after Christmas, depressed about the photos of myself from the holiday (I mean really, should that have been my focus?? Or should I have been focusing on my baby’s first Christmas?) I stepped on the scale expecting the worst. It wasn’t too bad. I’d gained 3 pounds since the end of October. Basically–all the weight I managed to lose over the summer was back. I still have 20 pounds to lose.

So soon. Soon my body will be mine again and I can get serious about this 20 pounds.