Food Psych

I recently started listening to a podcast called Food Psych. I heard about it from someone on Twitter and decided to check it out. It’s about intuitive eating, breaking out of diet culture, eating disorder recovery and Healthy at Every Size.

I’ve listened to about 10 episodes so far. They are long, a little over an hour or so. Each episode starts with a Q&A and then the rest of the episode is an interview with someone new each week, depending on the topic.

I am finding it very informative and interesting.

I learned that bulimia isn’t always about throwing up after eating. It can also mean a binge and then a strict restriction period to “make up for” the binge. I did not know that.

I also learned about orthorexia.

It was interesting to hear this term and learn more about it. Reflecting on my time blogging and reading “Healthy Living Blogs” for almost a decade now, I can see clearly that that whole “thing” was probably orthorexia. Focusing on diet culture, weight loss, over-exercising, being rigid about workout schedules and only eating “healthy foods.” There was a blogger that put a carrot in a hot dog bun instead of eating a hot dog, and a bunch of other truly bizarre (and disordered) things.

I was definitely part of this culture. It makes me think long and hard about my own journey. The podcast talks about how 90% of people who lose weight cannot keep it off. I guess I fall into this category? I lost 110 pounds and kept it off for over 10 years. I think that is pretty commendable. But at the same time, I maintained my weight by strict workout schedules and very low calorie intake. I don’t know that I fall into the eating disorder category per se, but definitely the diet culture category.

Something that happened recently: Logan has been telling me repeatedly lately that he’s hungry. This is after a meal, he had plenty of food during the meal. Michael and I have questioned if he was hungry or bored. We offer “you can have applesauce or a banana or some carrots” and of course he says no. He wants the crackers or granola bar.

This has been very triggering to me. First, I remember being a kid and wanting a snack and my mom would offer fruit or vegetables only. I grew up in a very strict food house, in the 90’s when it was the all low-fat/non-fat/no-sugar craze. So we didn’t get “treats” which lead to me bingeing later.

So hearing my son tell me he’s hungry and he wants to have a sweet treat, is triggering. Michael and I have been very conscious about letting him be intuitive, not being strict with food. We don’t want him to grow up with body issues/food issues etc. I especially don’t want that because I know how it feels and what it leads to.

But here I am, Saturday afternoon when Logan has had some crackers and raisins as a snack (with watered down apple juice to drink) and he’s whining that he’s hungry and I feel MY food issues pop up and I am mixed: do I restrict him? Do I give in and potentially create not healthy eating habits?

Boys can have eating disorders, too. It’s not just girls, even if it USUALLY is girls. I don’t want Logan to grow up like I did. I don’t want him to have body shame, or become obese, etc. It’s a hard balance for me, especially since I am still trying to come to terms with my own food issues.

At one of Logan’s recent “well baby” check up appointments with his doctor, whom I REALLY liked, gave me pause. She weighed him and stuff and suggested we “monitor” his weight. I was flabbergasted. Logan has been in the 97% percentile for height his entire life. 95% sure he will be a very tall boy (my brother is 6’6) because there are a lot of tall men in both sides of the family. His weight was around the 50% percentile, as it has been his whole life as well. I didn’t question the doctor, partly because I was so surprised she even mentioned my toddler’s weight. But I left feeling like “WTF”. Logan is tall and skinny as a rail. His clothes in his size are always a little too big.

This was the first experience as a parent of “Body shaming” my kid. It stuck with me for months. And listening to Food Psych Podcast, I am hearing in these interviews of people who had their body and food issues start at a VERY young age. Like ME. I was 9 when I suddenly realized there was something “Wrong” with my body. (I was not fat in anyway, but I THOUGHT I was.)

I’m working through a lot of things right now, thinking about stuff. But I wanted to pass on the info about the podcast because I am really enjoying it and I think a lot of people will too.

Happy Halloween!!!!!!!

Well Halloween wasn’t entirely cancelled this year, just different!

I prepared a bunch of goodie bags and put them out in our walkway. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I definitely underprepared! There were a LOT of trick or treaters!

I did two batches. The first batch went out late afternoon and then we left for a bit and when we got home I put the rest out and it was all gone in a flash!

So this year, Logan was a Shark! He had a small Halloween party at preschool on Friday.

Then we went to two of my friend’s house to trick or treat there. The first one was my friend Debby. She loves Halloween as much as I do. She usually goes all out!

Logan was a little scared by the skeletons LOL but it was cute. She made a HUGE goodie bag for him. He had SO much candy (like seriously, the equivalent of many houses!).

Then we went to my friend Ed’s house and she put together a whole scavenger hunt in her back yard!!

There were clues for each “Station” in her backyard (I posted some videos on my Instagram account if you are interested) and then Logan had to dig (with a shovel!) for the clue that led him to the next clue.

The final riddle had to spell out a word (scorpion) and he had to find the scorpion in the yard and then dig. And then he found a KEY! And the key opened a treasure chest with a huge bag of halloween candy, toys, a book, etc. It was so amazing.

It was sooo incredibly sweet that friends did this and Logan LOVED it. He was so excited and did not even mention trick or treating or notice that we did something different this year, so that was good.

I also saw, as we drove around, how many people got creative! Lots of tables set up for safe candy grabbing (some with hand sanitizer!), candy attached to fences or string by clothespins. It was so cool. It made me happy so many people tried to make Halloween fun for kids.

We had dinner when we got home. I made Michael and me a Greek bowl: spinach, wild rice, roasted chickpeas, pepperoncinis, kalamata olives, onion, feta cheese and Goddess Dressing (it called for Greek dressing, which I didn’t have, but Goddess Dressing made with tahini went perfectly!). It was so yummy!

Michael and I watched “The Quiet Place” Saturday night (Friday night we watched “Hereditary”). So we got our scary movies in. 🙂

Sunday I made a REALLY good dinner I wanted to share here.

Butternut Squash soup with tortellini, sage and goat cheese.

It was the PERFECT fall soup. The soup was delicious, slightly sweet. Loved the pasta in it. The sage was sautéed in butter til crispy, which was a fun addition. I used herbed goat cheese on top. I would definitely make this recipe again. Even Michael, who isn’t a huge fan of soup, or “sweet” soups, loved it, too. I recommend it!