Hopes & Fears

It’s hard to believe the time is almost upon us. I think it’s normal to be fearful and hopeful at the same time. It seems like this pregnancy has both zipped by AND dragged like I was walking through quick sand. Each week seemed to lastย for-ever! But at the same time it seemed like the pregnancy was going at lightening speed. I blinked and all of a sudden I was in the 3rd trimester. How did that happen?!

After years and years of hoping and fantasizing about a little bundle of joy, and months of gestating, I’m both READY and not ready for him to be here. Part of me is already a little sad that he won’t be inside me moving and kicking around just for me. ๐Ÿ™‚

In preparation for our birth class at the hospital I had to fill out a questionnaire and one of the questions was what are we most worried about. For me it was the birth process. For Michael his biggest fear was that I was going to go into labor at an inconvenient time. Meaning–at work, or on the bus, or somewhere where he can’t get to me quickly. That is definitely a fear! I do not want my water to break at work, or on the bus, or to go into labor downtown when our hospital is 10+ miles away. Ideal scenario would be it would start at home, where I am comfortable and only 5 minutes away from the hospital!

So here are some things on my mind lately. Hopes and fears both.


Like I’ve said before, I hadn’t given it much thought about the being pregnant part, I always thought about the baby part…and I definitely did not give the BIRTH part much thought either. Probably because it sounds terrifying so I just don’t think about it. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m definitely scared of being ripped in two. But at the same time, I’m scared of ending up having to have a C-section. So I just try not to think about the whole thing and hope for the best. I am definitely not a “must have natural childbirth” kind of person. Whatever happens, works for me. I will go with the flow and see what happens, go with the advice of the doctors and midwives who are the experts. I do not have a “birth plan” other than “give birth to a healthy baby and recover”. Birth plan DONE!

I often skipped the birth chapters of pregnancy books. I was like “I’ll read that later….” I also skipped all the horror stories in pregnancy chat boards. It’s crazy how many people wanted to tell me their HORROR STORIES when they found out I was pregnant. Why? I don’t want to know every worst case scenario that could possible happen…Really, people.

Baby Boy will be super late.

Definitely have some fears that he’s going to be late. I’m already dreading the comments from people who think they are being cute and funny when they say to pregnant women “you’re still pregnant?! Why haven’t you hatched yet” blah blah blah. Not cute. Not funny. NO pregnant woman wants to get griefย from people because her baby hasn’t arrived right on time. Just shuuush!

Other than that I haven’t given it too much thought because really, can I control when he decides to arrive? Not really. So why stress.



My hope is that breastfeeding goes alright. This is really important to me and I want it to go well. I’ve read a little bit about it but not a ton because really, every baby is different. There’s definitely some fearsย around it, again–the people with their horror stories–but overall I’m hopeful and excited about it. I’m hopeful that learning how to use the breast pump I got from the doctor is easy.



My hope is that my first post-partum meal is sushi and a giant glass of wine! Take note, Michael! ๐Ÿ™‚ I cannot wait for that spicy tuna roll.


Milestones and Learning

I am SO excited about experiencing everything with the baby! I remember the days when I used to babysit and it was crazy how every week they were different little creatures who had learned something new and were growing and so curious about everything. That is so exciting and I’m looking forward to that.

I’m excited to teach our baby things. Read to him. Take him on hikes to explore nature. I’m excited about all of it! And starting to feel impatient. ๐Ÿ™‚

Author: Lisa Eirene

About Lisa Eirene Lisa lost 110 pounds through calorie counting and exercise. She swims, bikes, runs, hikes and is enjoying life in Portland, Oregon. Her weight loss story has been featured in First Magazine, Yahoo Health, Woman's Day and Glamour.com.

14 thoughts on “Hopes & Fears”

  1. Everyone definitely wants to regale pregnant women with birth horror stories. I hate that about our culture because it promotes unnecessary fear. Your birth plan is a sound one. ๐Ÿ™‚

    As far as breastfeeding horror stories go, I haven’t heard any? Have people been bothering you about it? I’ll beat them up for you. I couldn’t breastfeed like I wanted to but I’m behind anyone who wants to do it 100% and will happily help with information if you have questions. I’ve read a ton of medical studies, talked to several lactation consultants and doctors and have like the entire world’s worth of breastfeeding info saved off in my Google drive.

    My daughter was 5 days past her due date and let me tell you, I thought I was actually going to beat someone up if they asked me if I was “still pregnant?” one more time. It got to the point where I was like “Do you have eyes? Why are you even asking me that question?”

    1. Your comment made me laugh! Like really, clearly I am STILL pregnant, why are you asking? LOL

      I’ve heard a lot of breastfeeding horror stories, and I’ve heard some positive ones, too. Same with birth. People like to tell their stories, I get that. But sometimes they come across as negative or fearful for some reason. I don’t know why people want to “scare” other women…it’s odd. Then of course there’s the political stuff that people want to push onto women. Trying to shame women for having drugs during birth, trying to make breastfeeding political, etc. I guess I’m just more laid back in that I’m looking at all of this stuff as what is best for me and my baby and what happens, happens.

      1. I think that’s the best way to approach child-rearing, laidback and accepting it as it comes but I’m a lot like you so I would think that.

        Clearly more people need to be like us. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Lisa this is so exciting! All I will say is if you ask 100 different women they’ll have 100 different stories. And no one anyone says or nothing you read can really prepare you – I mean it’s like nothing else! One thing I was definitely not prepared for was the absolute pure exhaustion those first few months. I remember calling my BFF and yelling at her “why didn’t you tell me!”

    You’ll be awesome – you’re as prepared as you can be ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. I’ve heard about the exhaustion but I don’t know that you can prepare for that! Last week I felt a level of exhaustion I’ve never had before and I wondered, is this what it will be like? Where you can barely get out of bed and functioning on any level seems too hard???

  3. Yaaay you are almost there! So exciting! I am a tiny bit wistful that I am done having babies (even though I definitely don’t want any more babies). There is nothing more incredible than childbirth.

  4. Lisa! Everything will go awesome and you will have your own unique birth experience. I tried without drugs and ended doing the epidural after they gave me pitocin. The epidural actually sped up my labor and I wasn’t too tired to push and deliver without surgery.
    If you have any questions about breastfeeding, let me know, I made it the full year with pumping at work. It was a lot of work but so worth it.
    Remember to relax and enjoy these last few weeks!

  5. Wow – so close! The time flies, eh? The time will go so so quickly after he is here, so take your time to enjoy every precious moment with your baby. Sushi was the first meal I wanted to have after my baby was born, too…haha. Didn’t get to it until a few weeks later, though, as I had a few weeks before I could drive.

    Best of luck!!!
    Irina recently posted..2015, A Year of Growth

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