antidepressants

Medications and Weight

I’m feeling pretty down about my weight right now. I wanted to check in and share my experiences lately.

I was doing pretty good. I was to the point where I had 9 pounds to lose to get back to pre-Logan weight. I was feeling better about myself, even though it’s takenĀ forever to even get to that point.

I’ve shared in the past about my experiences with depression and taking antidepressants and the unfortunately side effect: weight gain. Well I’m back to that spot again.

A few years ago I realized that my issues are more with anxiety than depression. Yes, depression was a big issue for me in my teens and twenties but in my 30’s it’s been anxiety. Like on a scale of 1-10, I’ve been holding steady at like a 7 for anxiety! I definitely had postpartum anxiety.

After I had Logan I was sleep deprived and anxious and because of my history I was super vigilant about looking for signs of postpartum depression…so much so that I totally missed the fact that I was suffering from PPA. Mostly because it wasn’t even on my radar. People talk so much about PPD but rarely PPA. I didn’t even know it was a thing until I started to feel like I was going insane.

I was so anxious all the time. The biggest thing for me was anxiety about SIDS. I had no reason to be anxious about it but I became obsessed. To the point where I wasn’t sleeping at all in those early months. It was not a healthy situation. I talked to my therapist and she eventually said it was time to go back on my medication. So when I stopped breastfeeding at 10 months PP, I went back on my Wellbutrin.

Wellbutrin has been my go-to medication for 20+ years. It’s the one that has worked best for me and THANKFULLY NO WEIGHT GAIN. It’s basically the only one out there that honestly does not cause weight gain.

Well, good news: no weight gain for me. Bad news: the medication that has always worked in the past suddenly didn’t work — instead, it super aggravated my anxiety. I was crushed. I went off the medication per my doctor and he suggested we try Prozac.

I was reluctant to try it because I couldn’t really find a lot of information about Prozac and weight gain. My doctor said it was usually “minimal.” But I decided to try because my anxiety was so bad. It was exhausting. I started the Prozac last November and once it started working, it was like a giant weight was lifted. Suddenly my anxiety was gone. I was able to think more clearly and manage the anxiety that came up. It was really eye-opening how bad my anxiety had been.

Fast forward about 4 or 5 months and my doctor decided it was time to increase the dosage a bit.

10 pounds. That’s how much I’ve gained since taking the Prozac. It was slow at first and then the dosage increase bumped it up pretty fast. I talked to my doctor and he said that 10 pounds sounds about right for that. He still called that “minimal.” I know 10 pounds is minimal to most but it’s A LOT to me. Especially in a short time.

I’m unhappy about this, I’m frustrated. Especially considering I’d been doing so well. And then on the flipside, I keep thinking “is losing weight worth the crippling anxiety?” Or is it better to just be like this and have my anxiety under control?

I talked to my doctor and he had a few suggestions:

  1. reduce the prozac back to the lower dose and see if that helps
  2. try Cymbalta instead (the side effects seem iffy to me)
  3. try Buspar (it’s an older medication and apparently doesn’t cause weight gain–but…..who knows)

I’m honestly not sure what the right decision is. It’s clear I need something to help manage the symptoms. But…at what cost?

So that’s the update right now. I still haven’t decided.

Bottomless Pit

Wednesday morning I had an early appointment before work. The plan was to head to the gym before my appointment, then I realized last week my membership was expiring. I decided to go anyway and see if I could work out despite it being lapsed. At the very least ask the salesperson trying to get me to sign up if I could have one more morning to workout before “making a decision” on the gym membership (snicker).

I got up early, had a snack (English Muffin) and headed to the gym. When I got to the gym there was no one at the counter where I checked in and no salespeople lurking in the sales area. I saw the usual counter girl, whom I really like and chat with, helping some other people. She said “Hi Lisa!” and waved. I waved back and decided–hey, no one at the counter……why not?? Sure it was sneaky. Technically I wasn’t a member anymore. But…..yeah, I don’t feel guilty.

First up: treadmill. I haven’t run since last Saturday when my run was cut short with a calf cramp. The cramp had gone away–I was able to swim on Sunday and bike 24 miles on Monday with no issues. I thought I was okay by Wednesday. I started slow and felt okay.


I got sucked into an episode of Supernatural (yum yum) and was enjoying the empty gym in the early morning hours. Then about 3/4 into my first mile my right calf started to cramp AGAIN. UGH. I slowed to a walk for about a minute then decided to try and run through the cramp. It was my last chance to use the gym and I was just tired of this cramping business.

I was able to run it out and finish my run but my leg still feels cramped up. I have no idea what is causing it. I foam roll, I eat healthy, drink water, stretch….what’s up?? Runners: give me advice!


Run Stats:
Time: 50 minutes
Distance: 3.75 miles


Not a bad distance despite my calf discomfort. I really wish this cramp would knock it off already. If I’m going gym-free for awhile I’ll be spending more time running.


After my run I limped down the stairs to the weight room and did my last weight session at the gym. Sad face. Felt sad. Sure I can buy some free weights to do at home but it’s just not the same.


I spent a good amount of time using the plated weight machines for chest and back since I won’t have access to them. Then I finished up with the free weights. I’ve noticed that I’ve lost a LOT of my strength since taking a month off from weight lifting.


Finally, I spent some time doing some ab work and then did a LOT of stretching. I ended my workout with the foam roller–paying extra attention to my stupid calf muscles. Ugh.


Gym Stats:
Time: 1:33
Calories Burned: 778


I hurried home to shower and eat before my appointment. I put on some muscle rub to see if that would help my calf.


For breakfast I scrambled 2 eggs with chopping red onion, 1 slice of ham chopped and topped with salsa, sour cream and beans. It was a big breakfast but exactly what I needed after a killer workout.

I was hungry in an hour.

Whenever I work out in the morning before work, I am a total bottomless pit the rest of the day. It doesn’t matter if I bring enough food to work to eat throughout the day, or if I eat good, filling foods–I am still starving.

I had leftover pizza for lunch (mmm carbs) and was still hungry. Ate a hard boiled egg as a snack. That took the edge off, then I was hungry again. Stupid hunger!

QUESTION: What’s the deal with my calf cramping?