Feb 282017
 

Guess what? I’m done nursing!

In December I talked to the lactation consultant about the issues I was having with breastfeeding–Logan didn’t seem interested anymore, he was easily distracted and would squirm and fidget and only nurse for a few minutes. As a result my supply was tanking. I did a last-ditch effort with some Mother’s Milk Tea and lactation cookies and didn’t see much of a difference. The consultant said it sounded like Logan was losing interest and if we wanted to wean soon, it was ok.

My goal was to breastfeed for 9 months. We ended up making it 10.5 months and I was ready to be done. While I loved breastfeeding and I knew I’d miss that part of it, I hated pumping at work, I hated being tied to the pump and a schedule and…all of the other stuff. The weaning process was actually pretty easy and I did it in such a slow way it was never that uncomfortable. I was so glad to be done pumping, too!!

So now that we’re done breastfeeding that means I have my body back! And I can start focusing on losing the baby weight!

Even though I’ve been counting my calories and exercising consistently for the last 11 months, I wasn’t really losing weight. I was talking to my friend Debby recently and she suggested that we become accountability buddies to try and lose weight together. We both wanted to lose 20 pounds. I agreed to give it a shot!

Debby does Weight Watchers and has been successful in the past. WW never really appealed to me because I’m a calorie counter and trying to re-learn something and figure out a point system didn’t appeal to me. Plus, I never felt like I needed the accountability and support with Weight Watchers meetings. I still don’t feel like I need the support, but I kind of feel like I need the motivation. I’m hoping buddying up with Debby will give me a little boost to get started.

We made a Google spreadsheet to share our weigh-ins, exercise, calories (or points) and Debby added water. (I need to figure out how to track my water because I don’t really drink it out of things that have measurements.)

Week One

We picked 2/13 as our start date. We both weighed in and logged it on the shared Google Drive Spreadsheet we created. I had recently lost almost 3 pounds (no idea how) but was bummed to see it back on the scale the morning of my official weigh-in. Oh well. I put it in the spreadsheet.

For the last 10 months or so I’ve been logging my calories in MyFitnessPal per usual and I was doing around 1700 calories as a base. If I worked out, I ate a little bit more. I did not factor in the extra calories I burned breastfeeding because I didn’t want to get comfortable having TONS of extra calories!!

So for Day One I reduced my calorie base to 1600 instead of 1700.

Day Exercise Calories for the Day
1 Rest Day 1685
2 Bike trainer, 238 calories burned 1407
3 Strength training at home, 390 calories burned 1732
4 Rest Day 1744
5 Run at lunch, 2.75 miles, burned 363 calories  1730
6 Swim, 300 calories burned 1650
7 Sick Sick

It was kind of fun seeing what my friend was doing. We gave each other encouragement, leaving comments in the spreadsheet kind of like Easter Eggs. 🙂 It wasn’t empty “good job” comments but nice encouraging words.

I was feeling REALLY awesome about running during my lunch break again! I think I can make that happen once a week, which will free up my evening to be with the family, instead of rushing to the gym. I felt very accomplished after running during lunch. It had been so long.

I was doing really well for almost 2 weeks and then….

Screeching halt on my momentum. I got sick. It happened right around my cousin’s wedding (TERRIBLE TIMING!) and so I took a few days off from working out (I still counted my calories) and the day I got back to it working out? I pulled a muscle in my back.

Like really, Universe?!

The story doesn’t stop there. THEN the next day (after a few visits to the chiropractor and massage therapist) I got sick again. This time? Strep throat. You have GOT to be kidding me. I spent three days in a fevered haze in so much pain, unable to swallow even water. It was truly awful. Thankfully the penicillin kicked in almost right away and I started to get better.

But damn, that was a bad week. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself, but still managed to stay in my calorie range (under 1700 calories a day) despite being sick and not being able to (or wanting to) work out. The only upside to being sick was the lack of appetite. For three days my diet consisted of soup, mini bagels with cream cheese and ice cream. That was it.

By Monday, I was on the mend with both my illness and back. I’d say I was at 75%. So I decided to hit the elliptical during my lunch break at work. I did about 30 minutes on the elliptical, which made me happy, and I hoped that I was getting better on all counts.

I hope to see some progress soon. I may need to reduce my calories a little more than the 1600 but I will see how it goes! I hope to do another post with progress soon.

Jan 022017
 

I loved this article so much. If you have the time, give it a read: How to Feel Better About Not Being as Good as You “Should” Be. It definitely speaks to where I am at currently.

Life is a lot different these days. In some ways it’s the same as it was pre-baby. Work, chores, life, gym, friends and family. It’s similar in routine, we just have a little life with us now. 🙂

But I’m different. My priorities have shifted. My body is different, obviously. And it’s hard to come to terms with that. I was making some progress with weight loss this summer. I lost about 4-ish pounds and was feeling re-energized and motivated.

Then that plateaued. I stalled out. Then I ran into some issues. Sure I could make excuses but the facts are: I was stressed out about Logan starting daycare and did some stress eating. I regained a few of those pounds I’d lost and that was very discouraging. The other fact: I had a major decrease in my milk supply when I tried to reduce my calories.

I wrote a post a few months ago about wanting to get back into fitness and that I wanted to lose some weight but that I obviously Logan was the priority and if I saw a cause and effect in my dieting and milk supply I would back off.

So I did.

I kept working out 4-5 times a week and I was still counting my calories. My priority was feeding Logan. I was disappointed I had to take a break from trying to lose weight but I reminded myself what my priority was at that moment. I came to terms with the fact that my weight loss goals would probably have to wait until I was done breastfeeding.

I started to write this post several months ago. Then we started getting sick. All.The.Time. Seriously–too many colds to count, bronchitis TWICE, sinus infection TWICE, freakin’ pink eye…! It felt like we’d never be well again. Everyone in our house was sick. I’d get back on track with the gym and get in one or two workouts and then I’d get sick AGAIN and take a week off from the gym.

For the last month I’ve been feeling pretty depressed. A big part of that is the constant illnesses. You just don’t feel good about yourself or life when you are sick. And exercise has always been a positive way that I relieve stress and improve my mood. Not being able to do that consistently has effected my moods more than anything, I think.

Waiting to lose weight has been a hard thing to reconcile in my mind, though. Especially since my “identity” has kind of been “the girl who lost 110 pounds” for so long.

Well, recently I’ve come to the realization that I think breastfeeding is coming to an end soon. My supply has dwindled to less than half of what it was. Logan is less interested in breastfeeding and I reached my goal of breastfeeding for 9 months. So starting in January I think I’m going to start slowly weaning and then focusing on my health and losing weight.

I won’t lie — I’m having a hard time with all of this. I’m struggling with the idea of quitting breastfeeding, even if it’s time. I’m feeling very emotional about all of that.

I’m also struggling with going back to being restrictive with my diet in order to lose weight. I thought those days were long over–and that I could easily lose weight doing what I’ve done for 10 years. But the reality is, I’m going to have to buckle down and cut my calories, say no to that second glass of wine, cut out sweets and stop eating old trigger foods (like pizza) in order to lose.

I’ve preached “eating in moderation” and not starving yourself for years and I plan on following my own advice. But I also need to stop making excuses for eating one more cookie or snacking on crap and not logging it. I need to be accountable to myself and honest. 

The day after Christmas, depressed about the photos of myself from the holiday (I mean really, should that have been my focus?? Or should I have been focusing on my baby’s first Christmas?) I stepped on the scale expecting the worst. It wasn’t too bad. I’d gained 3 pounds since the end of October. Basically–all the weight I managed to lose over the summer was back. I still have 20 pounds to lose.

So soon. Soon my body will be mine again and I can get serious about this 20 pounds.