Jun 202016
 

June 19th was a big day!

First, it was Michael’s first Father’s Day. Logan woke me at 3am with a stuffy nose (he sounded terrible! Like a pug snorting) and then he woke me at 7am really congested. My poor little guy. I called the advice nurse and she suggested some saline nose drops and I tried that and it cleared up the problem almost immediately. So Logan was in much better spirits for his first Father’s Day after that.

I was up, it was early, and I got to fix Michael breakfast in bed (he usually wakes up before me, so this time I got to do it!). I made scrambled eggs and hashbrowns.

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And Logan gave him his present. πŸ™‚ A card, a book and a new cutting board that I got personalized for the occasion.

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I hope it was a nice day for Michael because he does so much for us. πŸ™‚ It will be fun next year when Logan is older and can “help” make a card or gift. After breakfast the baby took a long nap, which was nice for everyone because Michael got to relax and do what he wanted (watch golf) and I got to go to the pool and swim.

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When I got home I took some photos of Mr. Happy:

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June 19th was also the anniversary of our first date. Hard to believe it’s been 8 years since that date. We met online a few months before and were just friends for months. Then Memorial Weekend we met in real life and hung out a few times and then had our first date–not as just friends. πŸ™‚ We went to Eleni’s Greek restaurant in Sellwood (which is sadly closed now) and had delicious food and really good wine and the rest is history.

I thought it would be nice to go out to dinner, just the two of us, for our anniversary. It was also the first time we were leaving Logan with a babysitter. That was…odd! I was a little anxious, of course, but mostly excited about going out just the two of us. My cousin Anna came over to babysit.

We ended up going to Gino’s in Sellwood. The food and service is always good there. We started with the Caesar Salad (best one in Portland) and I realized it had been a year since I had Caesar Salad! So tasty.

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Their menu changes daily and it’s always something different, with a few staples that are always on there.Β For entrees Michael got the lamb with garlic mashed potatoes and I got the Spring Onion Pasta dish. My dish was kind of like a pesto on the pasta. It was really different and interesting. I’ve never had kohlrabi before so it was cool to try something new.

Michael got the Walking Man IPA beer (it’s really good) and I got a glass of Pinot Grigio that was tasty and light and felt like summer. It was a nice, sunny evening and we enjoyed our leisurely dinner out sans baby.

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It definitely weird at first to be gone…then it felt like “the old days” when it was just the two of us. So strange. We talked about adult things and did our best not to talk about the baby. Anna did send one picture that was too cute and made me smile:

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(I’m so glad it was easy for Anna! He wasn’t fussy and only required one outfit change while we were gone!)

After dinner Michael and I decided to stop over at Papa Haydn’s for dessert. It was such a nice, warm summer night so we sat outside in their garden patio.

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Michael and I usually split dessert when we go out but this time we each got our own. Livin’ large here! Michael got the cheesecake:

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And I got the berry crisp. It was a compote of blueberries, raspberries and blackberries in a brandy sauce topped with gingerbread crumble and vanilla ice cream. It was so amazing and refreshingly light for a dessert.

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We savored our desserts and adult time and then it was time to head home. I picked up some treats for Anna as a thank you:

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It was such a nice day all around. It was great getting out just the two of us and it was also nice coming home and snuggling with my little guy.

Jun 062016
 

Well, my maternity leave is over.

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Last Friday was my first day back in the office. All week I was dreading it. I was anxious, I was sad, I had nightmares several nights about pumping at work. I bawled my eyes out for a few days leading up to. I snuggled Logan until he was like “mom, give it a rest!” I just couldn’t believe our time was up. πŸ™

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Friday came. My alarm on my phone didn’t go off for some reason but thankfully I had a built in alarm clock for 6am — Logan! But it was not a good start to the day. Nothing seemed to be going right but I finally got out of the door and made it to work on time. Carrying a crap ton of stuff.

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A coworker left me a card and a little gift that was really sweet. Everyone was really supportive and understanding. I was able to hold it together (for the most part) and honestly I was so busy it was a good distraction and the only time I started to feel sad was when I was pumping and had quiet time to myself. Michael sent me a photo:

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I thought heΒ looked sad. Then he sent me another photo:

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All better! Back to his sweet self.

So in a lot of ways it was easy to be back in the office. I was busy enough, but not overwhelmed, and could be distracted. It was nice to be working again and using my brain for something other than baby talk and changing diapers πŸ™‚ — as much as I love doing that with Logan. Just knowing myself, I know that being home full time wouldn’t be best for me. As much as I want it to be.

When I first talked to my boss about maternity leave and options she brought up the idea of working from home part time and working in the office part time. She told me a story about someone she worked with years ago at a different office who came back from maternity leave and cried in her office all day for a week and then finally just packed her shit up and left, no notice, just quit. She couldn’t handle it. I remember hearing this story (when I was 8.5 months pregnant) feeling awful for that woman and then thinking that while I’d be sad, I didn’t think that would be me…

Fast forward to last week. Crying for a week! Instead of relishing every single second with Logan during our last week home I kept focusing on the sadness. And I got it. I understood what my boss was telling me.

My boss has been amazing in her support for family bonding, for breastfeeding, everything. These are issues that she feels strongly about and I am so grateful for that.

So the downside to work? Pumping at work kind of sucks. I was in a room that unfortunately didn’t lock and twice people attempted to come in. Then my boss saved the day and told me to use her office when I needed to pump. It really is a stressful, anxiety-inducing thing to be pumping at work (at least for me). I felt really vulnerable and not having a truly private room stressed me out! But, using my boss’s office I was able to pump the rest of the day with no issues.

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I was able to drink a lot of water throughout the day. I pumped three times while at work. I didn’t eat enough and was really hungry but too busy to eat. That’s not good, I need to work on that!

Despite the rocky start to the day, it was actually okay and I did alright. I remember my job!! It was like a muscle memory thing. Once I started doing it again it all came back to me and I was able to do it without thinking about it. So that’s good. I got everything ready for working from home and (crossing my fingers that technology works at home) am ready to get started!

Friday afternoon I got a little surprise delivery:

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Flowers delivered to my office from Michael! It was so incredibly sweet and thoughtful and it really made my day (and made me tear up a little bit at the thoughtfulness). It was so wonderful!

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I was supposed to be off work at 4:30 but stayed late to get my laptop up and running (it took all day unfortunately). I raced home, anxious and excited to see my little guy! And kiss my other guy. πŸ™‚

I asked Logan if he forgot about me and if he missed me and he giggled. We nursed and I smothered him in kisses and then Michael made the evening even better than it already could be and got take out sushi!!

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Love me some spicy tuna! I’ve been craving sushi lately, too. Opened a bottle of wine and I cuddled with my little guy. So all in all, it was a pretty good day, despite the bumps in the road and the heartache of leaving Logan all day for the first time.

I feel prepared to go back to the office. I think it will be okay. I’m almost looking forward to it in a weird way. Having a schedule, structure and routine is basically my entire life. πŸ™‚ So going forward I will be in the office two days a week and home three days a week for the summer. Michael will be working from home those two days, so that’s awesome. I feel so incredibly lucky and fortunate that we have this opportunity for our family!