Apr 182017
 

My “cheat” meal this week was a little different. I decided to split it between lunch and dinner.

I took Friday off as a me day. I went to physical therapy, then to the gym, ran a few errands and spent the rest of the day relaxing on the couch cuddling with Bella and Yggdrasil and catching up on TV shows. (Currently LOVING Feud!!) I decided I wanted a burrito for lunch (I used leftover shredded chicken in my tortilla) and had some chips and salsa. Then for dinner Michael and I had pork tenderloin and some Trader Joe’s garlic fries. I really wanted mashed potatoes but the fries were a good substitute.

The last few weeks my cheat meals were pizza or a burger on a bun with a beer. Those were very satisfying.

New To Us This Week

After our hike on Saturday, Michael made cauliflower pizza for the first time. I’ve never had it before. Here is the recipe Michael used:

The Ultimate Cauliflower Pizza Crust

From: http://annavocino.com/the-ultimate-cauliflower-pizza-crust/

Ingredients

  • 2 12 oz bags of cauliflower florets, stems removed
  • ¼ cup grated parmesan
  • ¼ cup shredded mozzarella
  • ½ teaspoon garlic powder
  • ½ teaspoon dried oregano
  • ½ teaspoon dried basil
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 1 Egg

Instructions

  1. Pulse cauliflower in a food processor until it resembles the texture of couscous. It will have a very snowy appearance.
  2. In a microwave safe bowl, cook on high for 3-4 minutes. Let cool. Using cheesecloth, squeeze any and all excess water out of the cauliflower, then do one final squeeze wrapping a towel around the cheesecloth to make sure all excess water has been removed.
  3. Preheat oven to 425 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, mix cauliflower, parmesan, mozzarella, garlic powder, oregano, basil, salt and egg very evenly and form a dough ball.
  4. Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper, spray a light coating of olive or coconut oil. Place dough ball into center, and press into a circle, about 10-11 inches in diameter and ½ inch thick.
  5. Bake in oven for 11-14 minutes until golden brown spots start to cover the surface of the crust. Remove from oven, add your toppings, and place back in oven for 5-7 minutes or until cheese topping is melted and bubbly.
http://www.110pounds.com/?p=51932

Picking up cauliflower already riced (Trader Joe’s) was a smart move!

I opened a bottle of wine that we bought for my birthday in January:

It was a small pizza, perfect for two people. It turned out pretty good! The downside? It was very time consuming. Michael worked really hard on the pizza and the second downside was the crust stuck to the parchment paper after it was cooked, so that was difficult. We eventually figure out how to salvage the pizza and the paper off the bottom.

How did it taste? Pretty darn good. It was really tasty, much better than I was expecting, but was it as good as a bread pizza? Not quite. Michael thinks we should try again and maybe make the cauliflower a little smaller, and make sure ALL the water was out. I didn’t help much, I was on Logan duty, so I’m not sure how the process went but I think for a first attempt, this was pretty good.

You definitely can’t eat the pizza like normal pizza–all fork eating here! But it tasted really good.

Challenges This Week

The first challenge was cravings. I was feeling a bit run-down for some reason and even though I haven’t been having cravings since those first few days of quitting bread, I started to crave bread. No idea why! I was doing really well, not missing it too much. Then boom. I wanted a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup (which is surprisingly high in carbs! Why?! I don’t understand how tomato soup is almost as high as a sandwich) and then I craved pancakes and French toast! I resisted but I was seriously craving it.

The second challenge was Easter. We went to Michael’s mom’s house for brunch and I knew there would be lots of carbs for breakfast (it’s the same delicious meal every year). Michael did let her know we were doing low-carb and she made a carb-free egg casserole that was really good, so that was nice! I had salad, fruit, many deviled eggs, then the ham and egg casserole.

I skipped the delicious potato, sausage, cheese casserole and went with the egg casserole instead. I did “cheat” and have 1 mini cinnamon roll. It tasted really good, too. 🙁

Victories This Week

Several shirts and a pair of jeans (that have been slightly too tight for months) were suddenly very loose. YAY for NSV!

I’m up 1 pound this week. (Wine, ice cream, Easter candy…) I’m slightly disappointed, but am back on track and we’ll see how it goes next week.

Jan 022017
 

I loved this article so much. If you have the time, give it a read: How to Feel Better About Not Being as Good as You “Should” Be. It definitely speaks to where I am at currently.

Life is a lot different these days. In some ways it’s the same as it was pre-baby. Work, chores, life, gym, friends and family. It’s similar in routine, we just have a little life with us now. 🙂

But I’m different. My priorities have shifted. My body is different, obviously. And it’s hard to come to terms with that. I was making some progress with weight loss this summer. I lost about 4-ish pounds and was feeling re-energized and motivated.

Then that plateaued. I stalled out. Then I ran into some issues. Sure I could make excuses but the facts are: I was stressed out about Logan starting daycare and did some stress eating. I regained a few of those pounds I’d lost and that was very discouraging. The other fact: I had a major decrease in my milk supply when I tried to reduce my calories.

I wrote a post a few months ago about wanting to get back into fitness and that I wanted to lose some weight but that I obviously Logan was the priority and if I saw a cause and effect in my dieting and milk supply I would back off.

So I did.

I kept working out 4-5 times a week and I was still counting my calories. My priority was feeding Logan. I was disappointed I had to take a break from trying to lose weight but I reminded myself what my priority was at that moment. I came to terms with the fact that my weight loss goals would probably have to wait until I was done breastfeeding.

I started to write this post several months ago. Then we started getting sick. All.The.Time. Seriously–too many colds to count, bronchitis TWICE, sinus infection TWICE, freakin’ pink eye…! It felt like we’d never be well again. Everyone in our house was sick. I’d get back on track with the gym and get in one or two workouts and then I’d get sick AGAIN and take a week off from the gym.

For the last month I’ve been feeling pretty depressed. A big part of that is the constant illnesses. You just don’t feel good about yourself or life when you are sick. And exercise has always been a positive way that I relieve stress and improve my mood. Not being able to do that consistently has effected my moods more than anything, I think.

Waiting to lose weight has been a hard thing to reconcile in my mind, though. Especially since my “identity” has kind of been “the girl who lost 110 pounds” for so long.

Well, recently I’ve come to the realization that I think breastfeeding is coming to an end soon. My supply has dwindled to less than half of what it was. Logan is less interested in breastfeeding and I reached my goal of breastfeeding for 9 months. So starting in January I think I’m going to start slowly weaning and then focusing on my health and losing weight.

I won’t lie — I’m having a hard time with all of this. I’m struggling with the idea of quitting breastfeeding, even if it’s time. I’m feeling very emotional about all of that.

I’m also struggling with going back to being restrictive with my diet in order to lose weight. I thought those days were long over–and that I could easily lose weight doing what I’ve done for 10 years. But the reality is, I’m going to have to buckle down and cut my calories, say no to that second glass of wine, cut out sweets and stop eating old trigger foods (like pizza) in order to lose.

I’ve preached “eating in moderation” and not starving yourself for years and I plan on following my own advice. But I also need to stop making excuses for eating one more cookie or snacking on crap and not logging it. I need to be accountable to myself and honest. 

The day after Christmas, depressed about the photos of myself from the holiday (I mean really, should that have been my focus?? Or should I have been focusing on my baby’s first Christmas?) I stepped on the scale expecting the worst. It wasn’t too bad. I’d gained 3 pounds since the end of October. Basically–all the weight I managed to lose over the summer was back. I still have 20 pounds to lose.

So soon. Soon my body will be mine again and I can get serious about this 20 pounds.