Take Aways

Thank you all for the comments and feedback on my Diet Culture post. I think it resonated with a lot of people and more and more I am seeing things on social media about people kind of being “over it.” Over the constant “THINKING” about food and calories and portions and dieting. An instagram friend I’ve followed for years posted recently that she was burned out on it and has been doing Weight Watchers since like the 5th grade. One comment on my post, from Beth, said keto “consumed a lot of brain space” and that is exactly how it felt.

What have I been doing since I quit? A lot of stuff actually. I’m back to just counting calories and watching my portions but not going crazy. I’m not tracking carbs, not worrying about carbs too much. Just doing what worked before.

One thing I did, was I un-synched my Garmin to MyFitnessPal. I think part of my problem has been *thinking* I was doing good creating a deficit but not really doing it. I’d see that I had all these “Extra” calories in my app for the day and I’d think, It’s okay to eat a little bit more. So unpairing the two apps means I don’t see the calories I burn. And now my focus is just on keeping in my range (1400-1500 calories a day).

This has helped me a lot. When I reach that number for the day, I’m done. There are days I eat more. But I don’t worry about it. I’m not hungry. I do not feel like I am starving myself. I do not have intense cravings because I am depriving myself any foods. On days I AM a little extra hungry, I just eat a snack! And it’s ok.

The other thing that has happened is that I no longer associate exercise with “I need to work off ___ food”. Not that I thought of exercise as punishment. I love exercising, it’s a good stress reliever for me and makes me feel good. But there are definitely days when I am not feeling it but did anyways because of eating ____. I think we’ve all been there. Anyways, now I just exercise because I want to, when I want to.

One of the other take aways from doing keto, that is NOT negative, is that Fat Is Good. Eating healthy fats like avocado, nuts (my favorites are cashews, macadamia nuts and walnuts), olive and avocado oil, olives, etc. That stuff is good for your body, good for your brain AND makes you feel fuller.

But the more I think about it, the older I get, the more stressful life gets in general, the more 2020 throws at us…the less mental space I have for all of that stuff. Is it important? I don’t know. I am trying to be healthy. I am trying to keep my portions in control. I am still exercising. I just don’t want my entire LIFE consumed by how many calories I can eat, how many carbs I’ve had, calculating NET CARBS all day long. It is just not healthy for my mental health.

Am I happy with my current weight and body? Nope. But I am trying to make peace with it, work on it, keep doing what I am doing.

I’ve been following a lot of body positive, positive eating, sustainability, eco-positive people on Instagram recently and it’s been giving me a lot to think about. (If you guys are interested, I can provide links and names for some of my favorites.)

It’s really made me wonder how much of my journey was healthy? I lost weight in the healthiest way possible. I didn’t crash diet, I changed my lifestyle, I retrained my brain and eating habits and chose healthier options. I maintained my weight for over 10 years doing healthy things. But was it 100% healthy? Or were there things that were a little questionable? Like being so strict with my workout schedule, never deviating, feeling stressed if I was injured or sick and had to take time off. Was I healthy if I was doing keto and being super restrictive? Did I mess up metabolism for good by limiting my calories for so long? I have a lot of questions. Lots and lots of questions…

Keto & Mindful Eating

Quick Progress Update

The diet is going well so far. I am losing weight, slow and steady. I am averaging a loss of about .8-1.2 pounds a week and while it’s not a huge loss each week like a lot of the keto websites and bloggers promise (I feel like they promise big losses to sell their meal plans maybe?) I am still losing and I am happy with that. I knew going in that it would probably be a slow process. When I lost weight the first time, it was a pretty slow process.

Thoughts on Weight Loss

Before I started Keto, I was struggling. After having Logan my body was out of whack. Pregnancy, breastfeeding, age, metabolism, lack of sleep, all of it…it all contributed to no weight loss. Add in medications that caused some weight gain and I was right back to where I started when I had Logan. I was feeling very disappointed and depressed. I was stressed out and frustrated that NOTHING worked. No matter what I did I didn’t see much of a change on the scale. I kept gaining and losing the same 3 or so pounds.

I was definitely getting into some unhealthy behaviors and unhealthy mental loops. I was getting VERY restrictive with my calories. I was already pretty low–1400 calories a day–and that was with working out. I was seeing food as the enemy. I was looking at meals as a negative equation: How could I cut more calories? Why wasn’t I losing any weight as I cut more and more?

It wasn’t a healthy place to be. And it sucked because back in the day when I was trying to lose over 100 pounds, I was never in that obsessive, negative, eating-disorder mindset.

If nothing else, doing the keto diet has shifted my mindset into a different realm. I’m no longer focusing on calories–which is a HUGE shift for me considering calories were what I focused on for the last 15 years.

Instead, I am focusing on macros and net carbs/fat. The calories are at the bottom of my priority list. I am still trying to stay within a range but I no longer feel anxiety if I am seeing in the MyFitnessPal app that I am over my calories for the day. It is no longer the focus.

I feel less stress and anxiety about all of that, so that’s a relief. Sometimes if I go over the net carbs for the day I do feel disappointed in myself but I try not beat myself up about it. It’s just one day and I usually don’t go that far over my goal.

When I am planning my meals and food for the day I focus on the macros and when I look at nutrients on food labels, I look at carb count first, and sometimes I don’t even look at the calorie count! SO weird! Especially for me!

I will be doing another weigh-in post and update in about two weeks.