Nov 102014
 

I had a pretty good weekend. To be honest, the last few weekends have been a struggle for me. The weather was ugly, the darkness was making me tired and I was feeling very distressed about my weight. I was starting to get into the “must restrict” mentality and when I ate something I deemed to be “not healthy” I felt like a failure and would beat myself up about it. All weekend long. One slip-up, even if I hadn’t gone over my calories, felt like I failed. It sucked. It was kind of a dark place to be. I felt resentful of (seemingly) everyone else on the planet that could eat and drink whatever they wanted and not worry about their weight. I felt like I wasn’t making any progress. I actually broke down and bought some clothes in one size up because I was tired of crying every time I put on my pants and they felt skintight.

So that’s where I was the last few weeks. This weekend I didn’t feel like that too much. I was on track with my food. I was feeling more positive. I wasn’t feeling STARVING all the time like I had been for the last month and a half. And I had some good workouts. This was the Warrior Room on Saturday (and I went up in weight in the kettle bells!):

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It was a great workout and I am reminded just how important the Warrior Room routine is to my knee health. I noticed that when I took time off when I was sick, then the wedding, then the honeymoon, my knees started to bother me. But when I go to the WR consistently my knees are happier. It really does show how unbalanced my body is naturally. I need to work extra hard to keep those glutes strong to keep my knees strong!

This was Sunday’s workout — despite feeling a little stiff and sore I was able to get in a 2 mile run on the treadmill before yoga class:

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The yoga teacher seemed to psychically know that I needed extra hip stretching because most of the moves in that particular class worked on the hips (thank goddess!).

I also ate really healthy foods. I wanted to share one of the finds because it was so delicious. Years and years ago I was a vegetarian but I wasn’t very good at it and didn’t eat in a healthy way, I just didn’t eat meat. There also weren’t a lot of options for vegetarians 15 years ago. The faux foods weren’t good and I think the only option was Morning Star, which I’ve never liked.

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I got these veggie burgers at Trader Joe’s on a whim and I’m so glad I did! They were amazing! I loved them. For dinner on Sunday night I cooked up one of these veggie burgers and had some sauteed Brussels Sprouts with onions (cooked in coconut oil) with some cottage cheese on the side. It was a really filling dinner and it was only around 400 calories. I loved these burgers!

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If you have a Trader Joe’s near you, I highly recommend you give them a try. I will be buying more of them and working them into my meal rotation. The only downside is that you have to cook them in a skillet. I don’t know if they’d turn out in the microwave, so I don’t know that it would be a feasible option for lunches at work. But on the weekends it would be a great lunch option.

The weather was also really nice on Saturday. I got so much stuff done–a lot of the usual chores in addition to a bunch of yard work (and planted some plants from a neighbor). I also went through a bunch of stuff and got a box and big bag full to donate. Plus, Michael and I took Bella to the dog park.

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(That picture was actually taken by our dog walker in the backyard but it’s too cute not to share.) The dog park was packed with dogs because it was so nice out! Bella had a blast running around playing and chasing dogs and there were two rambunctious puppies (one pitbull and one mutt) that were super spazzy and Bella loved them. They all had the same crazy energy.

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Once Bella was done playing (she stopped paying attention to the other dogs) Michael and I walked with Bella around the park. It’s a huge park with trails and a few different fields, there was even a fenced horse area! Crazy that this huge park is so close to our house and we had no idea.

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It was just a really nice way to spend the afternoon–sunshine, blue skies, fall leaves and a nice walk.

Back to the food. I was under my calorie goal every day for the weekend AND I had some leftover Halloween candy too. It just goes to show that I just do not do well with restriction and moderation is what works. For weeks I tried to restrict and NOT eat any of the foods that I deemed on my “no list”. No pizza. No dessert. No “fun” foods. Just eat whole foods, fruits and vegetables. But denying myself these things just made me want them more and made me feel more miserable and frustrated with my lack of progress. It just goes to show you how much of weight loss is MENTAL.

I haven’t weighed myself to check in for two weeks. I will do it this week and see if I’ve made any more progress.

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Nov 032014
 

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What I find fascinating is how quickly the body gets used to something. When I took a break from calorie counting and tracking during September I was definitely eating more food than normal and not paying attention to portion sizes. While I wasn’t bingeing, I certainly wasn’t moderating anything. The scale reflected that when we got back from our honeymoon.

When we got back I weighed in and immediately got back to tracking my calories and getting back to my normal workout routine (fitness 5 days a week with 2 rest days). I wasn’t beating myself up over gaining some weight because I needed the break. While my healthy lifestyle is definitely my “norm” and it’s comfortable and usually fairly easy to maintain, people need a break once in awhile.

So back to the beginning of this post…my body got used to eating more. When I got back into calorie counting my body was yelling at me. “I’M HUNGRY!!!! FEED ME!!!!” It a feeling I hadn’t really experienced in awhile because I’d been so used to what I was doing for 8 years!

That hunger when you first make that adjustment is difficult. I’d forgotten just how difficult. The grumbling of the stomach, the ache, the sadness and frustration in knowing that I couldn’t eat EVERYTHING I wanted…it’s a brutal reality until you get used to it. The hunger goes away after a little bit. I remember now what that feeling was like when I FIRST started to lose my weight. It was a few weeks of insatiable, uncomfortable, almost painful hunger. I was starving. But I got through it. I drank a lot of water (and diet soda) to fill myself up. I tried eating healthy snacks to curb the hunger in between meals.

A few weeks later, my body adjusted. Making an adjustment from eating 5,000+ calories a day to 2,000 is a huge change. Give it time for your body to get used to it. I keep reminding myself of that this time around. Give it time. A few more days and this horrible hunger will subside.

I had one “slip up” when we got back. I was doing pretty well with my calories. I had a few days where I was a little bit over but not by much. The day I had a slip up was a conscious choice, so I don’t know that I can really call it that. I made the choice to splurge. It was our three week anniversary (haha!) and we went out to the movies for a date (we saw Gone Girl, which was great and I had worried they’d ruin the movie because the book was so great) and Michael got popcorn. I wasn’t going to have any but it smelled so good I ended up eating a bunch of it. Sigh.

Then we got dinner at Popeye’s (besides In-n-Out it’s the only fast food I like) because one opened near our place! We had to try it! I didn’t go crazy and wasn’t really over my calories too badly but it certainly wasn’t HEALTHY food!

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We also shared a bottle of champagne left over from the wedding. :D

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(Dancing in the kitchen!) Movie theater popcorn, fast food and champagne…dinner of champions? Maybe not. It was good though!

Progress?

I was back at the fitness routine and I was also back at the Warrior Room…ouch! After almost a month off from it and three weeks of no weight lifting, I hurt pretty badly after that. Ouch ouch. But I’m back…and going consistently twice a week to the WR.

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I tracked my calories–every bite, nibble, snack, everything–and got back to the gym. I didn’t weigh myself again for about three weeks. I wanted to give it a little time to kick in and I also knew that I was nearing the time of the month where I’d “gain” several pounds due to PMS bloat. I didn’t need to see that on the scale. Sadly, I did weigh in and see that the original number on the scale hadn’t accurately reflected the honeymoon weight. I should have taken in to account that weight gain often shows up on the scale the FOLLOWING week.

It was discouraging. I had more weight to lose than I originally thought. It was frustrating and deflating and definitely humbling. I’d been maintaining my weight for so long, I forgot just how hard it is to lose weight. It was time to get even more serious. So this is what I’m doing now:

Measuring my portions (just eye-balling it doesn’t work when you need to LOSE)
Trying to create a calorie deficit every day 
Eating more whole foods (lots of fruits and veggies)

And I’m going back to weighing myself once a week. I was discouraged to see a GAIN after getting back on track. Clearly I’d gained more than I thought I had. I’m humbled and ready to take this seriously.

Stay tuned.

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