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Hold That Door

Hold That Door

Lisa Eirene

About Lisa Eirene Lisa lost 110 pounds through calorie counting and exercise. She swims, bikes, runs, hikes and is enjoying life in Portland, Oregon. Her weight loss story has been featured in First Magazine, Yahoo Health, Woman's Day and Glamour.com.

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22 Comments

  1. Courtney

    I think it’s more how you present yourself. I notice a big difference when I’m in my scrubby clothes versus my cute I look good clothes. I’m 200+ pounds. 🙂

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Maybe. But in the office scenario I was talking about I was wearing professional clothes–skirts and blouses and dresses.

  2. kalin

    My senior year of HS I went to the local community college half time, and there I found that if I was wearing a skirt, guys would ALWAYS hold the door for me-they’d stand there waiting when I was far off, run ahead of me to get it. It was both cute and sometimes super awkward. And it happened a lot less when I wore pants. The CC had obviously more men who were older than I was, and also had a fairly percentage of hispanic students-and both of those groups overall are more likely to hold doors than white dudes my age.
    I do think confidence plays in though. If you think you’re awesome (in a happy, I’m secure with who I am way, not a I think I’m too hot for the world way) you seem more attractive, regardless of if you fit into a guy’s personal physical ideal.
    kalin recently posted..Genius

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Maybe. I do think confidence and presence does make a difference. But like I said on the other comment, I was dressed up professionally in skirts and dresses.

  3. Lori

    I don’t know if confidence played a part for me or not. I experienced that a lot. Or, I should say any attention I got was not by the ‘frat boy’ type when I was obese. I do sometimes get unwanted attention now and it irritates me because I know they wouldn’t have looked at me twice 100 pounds ago. My biggest surprise was really how normal weight people actually talk about overweight people when they aren’t there. I was talking with some people one time and they didn’t know me before. One of them got talking about fat people in a way that was just so different. I remember totally not listening to the rest of what he said because I was just going over in my mind how they would never have talked that way if they knew I was once overweight.
    Lori recently posted..New food fun day!

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Thanks for sharing, Lori. I was wondering if you experienced something similar. Same with Diane.

      First, I think confidence does have something to do with it–to an extent. I experienced so many things as an obese person I never experience now at my current size.

      Second, I’ve also experienced that weird moment when people talk about overweight people disparagingly when they aren’t around. There have been a few experiences where I actually spoke up and said that I used to be one of “those” people and it’s not cool what they were saying. Probably didn’t change their opinions but whatever–I was glad I said something.

  4. Lisa

    Haven’t experienced the door discrimination but I do experience discrimination for my size, especially from other women. We really treat each other the worst. I wonder if men experience the same discrimination from other men.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Oh, you are so right. Women can be SO catty. It’s sad. Women seem to break each other down instead of standing together. But that’s a whole other topic….

    2. Esther

      This! I definitely notice this as well.
      Esther recently posted..#scintilla day ten – heartbreaker

      1. Lisa Eirene

        It’s really too bad. But so true–I’ve heard more negative criticism about myself from women than men ever did.

  5. Liz

    Thank you so much for this post. Nothing pisses me off more than people with no weight issues saying that everyone gets treated equally. I believe that clothes, confidence, and flat-out beauty do modify the weight issue, but, regardless, skinnier people often get better treatment in our society. It’s nice to just hear someone say it that gets it.

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Thank you for the support, Liz. People were awfully quiet on this post and I wondered if I was the only one…

  6. Esther

    Sadly, I get that now. It’s very discouraging.
    Esther recently posted..#scintilla day ten – heartbreaker

    1. Lisa Eirene

      I’m sorry, Esther. 🙁 I know how you feel.

  7. Mary C. Weaver, CSCS

    Lisa, this is fascinating (and depressing).
    Mary C. Weaver, CSCS recently posted..Want better results in the gym? Get this book!

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Well my intention was not to depress people, honestly! I thought my readers could relate!

  8. Jane

    I totally get this. I am in the struggle of “re-losing” 130lbs I regained after dealing with my bad knees, some depression and job loss and I was that skinny girl. Cute clothes, size 8-10, fit and happy and I miss ME! But what I miss more is being treated decently and not like an outcast. 🙁

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Thanks for chiming in, Jane. I think people are under the impression that there isn’t discrimination against people because of their weight–that it’s a confidence thing, etc etc. Having experienced too many things to count when I was 250 I can attest that I was in fact discriminated against. It’s sad. We all deserve to be treated the same way no matter what size we are.

      I’m sorry that you’re trying to relose the weight. I hope it goes well for you!

  9. Karen P

    Great post. I’m super short and get physically stuck in those automatic doors since the sensors are set for taller people. I have to wave my hands above my head just to get the sensor to open the door. And having the door shut on you hurts like heck. Its a crap shoot when I go through those doors. I’m always on the defense. :0

    For manual doors, people at work hold them. At other places, some do and don’t. Even at normal weight. It’s almost like a cultural thing ( so cal). A little different in the mid west

    For the conversations about weight :People’s emotional intelligence really shows. In my opinion, people with higher emotional intelligence don’t make those comments about overweight or obese. They just accept the person as the person no matter what. The ones who do comment have something else going on with themselves. Cause if they are focusing on someone else’s weight, then they don’t have to deal with their own issues. It’s the denial mile !! Lol

    I will say I don’t miss the sh*t talkers in the bathroom the ones who talked about me and my chosen weigth loss plan at the time, when they didn’t bother to consider that I was also in the bathroom. I wanted to say “watch me'”. I didn’t because I’m smarter not to take that bait Now I let my skinny clothes speak for me.

    Good topics. Those carts are tough to maneuver. Who thought that weight loss would bring that benefit?
    Karen P recently posted..Second week of maintenance

    1. Lisa Eirene

      Incredibly insightful comment about emotional intelligence. I have to agree. Same with race–if someone has to resort to using weight, race, etc as a tactic to break someone down they really don’t have the intelligence for a fair fight. That being said, our society seems to be a-okay with diminishing people based on their weight.

      That’s astounding to me that you took the high road in that bathroom stall and I loved the comment “let my skinny clothes speak for me”! Awesome!!! Good for you!!!

  10. Jayme @ Still A Mile

    I haven’t had this happen, in particular, but I do see the differences in how some people treat me versus how they treat someone who is lighter. It sucks and sometimes puts me in a deep funk– but I try to push past it. After all, rude and judgmental people really aren’t worth my time.
    Jayme @ Still A Mile recently posted..Weighing in

    1. Lisa Eirene

      You are so right, Jayme, It’s not worth your time or energy. It’s their loss for missing out on meeting someone awesome.

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