I Saw my Ghost at the Pool

I saw my ghost at the pool last night. She was a bit heavier than I used to be but she was there swimming. Just like I did way back when. She had a similar suit as I had– the kind with a skirt attached (I was embarrassed by my thighs).

She was swimming in the lane next to me. I think she tried to smile at me but it happened as I went under water. I was conflicted. I wanted to say something to her– encourage her to keep swimming. But I stopped myself. I knew what I looked like to her– a skinny girl swimming faster than her, a skinny girl who didn’t have to rest after each lap. She doesn’t know I used to be her.

And how do I even start that conversation?

If someone had commented to my old self I’d be offended. I’d feel like they were judging me. I never want to make someone feel like that. So I kept quiet and silently said “good job. Keep swimming!” and I swam by myself.

I ever see her at the pool again, maybe I will say something encouraging. Maybe.

My own swim routine went well last night. I didn’t do much of the breaststroke. While my knee wasn’t hurting me, it did not feel quite as wonderful as it did on Thursday. I decided to take it easy and just do Freestyle. I had great time and swam fast.

When I got home, Michael was blackening some salmon.

I still had to eat soft-ish food because of my tooth. He also made cheese ravioli as the side dish.
I made a side salad. I’d been craving fresh veggies all day.
Dinner turned out great.
I ended up eating only half of the salmon because it was a bit too much food.
We watched an episode of Anthony Bourdain last night too. This episode was about Spain–somewhere I’d love to go! But then he proceeded to talk about food like tripe and the hoof of a bull. NO THANK YOU! Talk about unappealing.
Our dinner was much better. And I even have leftovers for lunch now!
QUESTION: Are you an adventurous eater? Or do you stick with the “norm”?

Author: Lisa Eirene

About Lisa Eirene Lisa lost 110 pounds through calorie counting and exercise. She swims, bikes, runs, hikes and is enjoying life in Portland, Oregon. Her weight loss story has been featured in First Magazine, Yahoo Health, Woman's Day and Glamour.com.

6 thoughts on “I Saw my Ghost at the Pool”

  1. We want to go to Spain!!! And, yeah, I’d skip the tripe. I’m not very adventurous.

    Your pool story is so touching to me. I get that feeling but not about weight, more about when my friends are dating guys who aren’t treating them well and they’re conflicted. I know that used to be me. Of course, to a friend in that case it’s a little easier to give advice, but most times they still don’t listen like I didn’t.

    Wow, I’m emotional these days. Even your post title made me a little teary.

  2. what a touching story…so glad i read this. 🙂

    approaching strangers in these sorts of settings are always so awkward but i bet she wouldn’t mind a word of encouragement or a compliment. but at the very least i am sure that just by thinking positive thoughts for her you were doing some good.

  3. Oh that’s so hard. You want to say that you know how they feel and you get it, and it will get better and how amazing it feels to be working towards it. But it’s true, without the back story it can be patronizing. Maybe a business card with your website address. I don’t know.

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