It’s hard to believe I’ve been writing this blog for almost 13 years. I looked back at some of my old posts and many are…cringe–especially now that I’ve taken a more critical look at my habits, diet culture and eating disorder history. This is the time of year that my blog ALWAYS got a ton of new traffic. People would google weight loss blogs/losing weight/new year’s resolutions and mine would beckon them in with advice on how to lose the weight and maintain it!
This year was no different. Site traffic jumped a lot the first few days of January. And I totally get it. The new year feels like a fresh start and after a month or two of holiday indulging, it’s easy to decide to clean up the diet, lose some weight, start an exercise routine, etc. Even though I haven’t done resolutions in years, I still understand the pull.
When I think back to when I started this blog, after I lost 110 pounds, I preached about how I did not go on a diet. I changed my life. I counted my calories and ate anything I wanted “in moderation” and I worked out. It wasn’t a DIET, it was a LIFESTYLE change. And it totally was for me.
But the last few years as I’ve delved deeper and learned about diet culture–which has been rebranded as WELLNESS–I realized just how much I was contributing to all of those things.
WELLNESS is the new thing. And self-care. But self-care needs to be more about losing weight, working out, bubble baths and manicures. At least for me it does.
Two kids, a full time job, pets, a house, all things I am grateful for but it’s a lot. It’s hard not to feel burned out on a regular basis. And never getting that downtime or self-care time. The gym and working out feels like a chore because it’s something I have to fit in. I don’t know exactly how to fix that, but I am trying my best.
In 2022 I welcomed a beautiful baby that is a joyful addition to our family (how is she ALMOST A YEAR OLD?!?!) but it was also a really painful year for me. Postpartum depression. The hip injury that caused chronic pain–AND being told by two surgeons that I wasn’t a good candidate for surgery (basically wait 10 years and get a hip replacement).
More recently I was diagnosed with both fibromyalgia and psoriatic arthritis. (I will be writing more about this later as I process it.)
So I have had a lot of really painful things happen. As a result, I am trying to re-evaluate how I view food, exercise, rest, recovery, mental health and “self-care”. My goal for 2023? Be healthier in ways that don’t involve weight.
What about you?
Sorry about the diagnoses – I hope the information will be helpful long-term, but I imagine you’re not delighted with this news.
I just want to be flexible – as I age I’m stiffening up and want to gently push back on that. I’m doing a daily free yoga series off of YouTube (yoga with Adriene) – I did every day from Dec 1-18, until I started traveling, and I’m doing her new 31-day series now. It’s not really fun but in general I’m glad when I am done that I did it. I don’t notice a huge improvement yet but it probably can’t hurt!
I totally understand what you mean about yoga. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I find it slow and boring but I also recognize how much I need it for stability and flexibility–both of which I am lacking!