Mourning Pasta

As many of you read, I did a gluten-free and dairy-free challenge in February. If you’re a new reader, I did it because I wanted to see if I had any food sensitivities or allergies. My mom had done something similar and found that she lost 14 pounds, her sinus issues cleared up and she didn’t crave sugar. I also heard from other people that going dairy-free cleared up their skin. All of those things sounded good to me! Unfortunately that didn’t happen for me. I lost an inch and 2 pounds but my sinuses and acne didn’t clear up. I realized that I didn’t need to go dairy or gluten-free.

One thing that did happen was that my boyfriend Michael discovered he had a sensitivity to gluten. He’s now trying to be gluten-free because he saw such a difference. I had no idea that this little experiment would end up changing our lives.

While Michael is doing the gluten-free thing, I’m not really doing. I found that not feeling restricted made it easy to abstain from gluten. I can eat it IF I WANT TO–but most of the time I skip it.

That being said, there have been a few times where I kind of felt sad that Michael’s diet was so restrictive now. It’s not like we ate pasta all that often but suddenly realizing that we COULDN’T eat it together made me pause and think “oh.” Oh. Disappointing. Sure, there are alternatives and gluten-free products we can try but…it’s just not the same.


And it’s not like I did a whole lot of baking but as soon as I realized Michael wouldn’t be able to eat anything I made, I suddenly wished I could bake! I tried some gluten-free recipes but they really aren’t the same. The results ranged from “just ok” to “this is pretty good as an alternative” to “how are these brownies both raw and burned?”

I realized that I was going through something I had gone through before. When I first started losing weight and was using calorie counting to achieve that, I had to stop eating a lot of things that I used to love. They were just too high in calories for me and I knew I wouldn’t lose the weight if I kept eating them. For example: the decadent white chocolate mochas with caramel syrup and whipped cream on top. That was my coffee drink every day. I was consuming around 500 calories in a drink! Absurd! When I realized that I immediately made the switch to black coffee with flavored creamer. It was around 100 calories and satisfied my coffee craving (to a point). Of course I missed those desserts I called coffee.

Speaking of beverages…Michael’s dietary change also includes BEER! He’s been trying the various gluten-free beers that are out there and Omission is actually pretty decent. But it’s kind of a bummer that we can’t drink the same beer now. What happens when we go beer tasting? Or to the Brewfest? I just don’t know. Yet.

I went through a short period of mourning when I realized I couldn’t consume all the things I wanted to. I think it’s normal. It’s a mourning of your past, your old habits. Every once in awhile I feel a sense of longing for the days when I didn’t have to schedule a gym session into my day when I’d much rather go home, sit on the couch in my PJs and watch TV. I always feel better going to the gym, but still.

I never really ate that oftenThose feelings of longing don’t last. I don’t mourn the “bad” foods I don’t eat anymore because I don’t really miss them. And this pasta thing? Bizarre. Why would I miss something to begin with?


Am I alone in this? 

QUESTION: Has your significant other/partner had a dietary change that effects you?

19 Responses

  1. I totally get what you mean about mourning food, there are some things I don’t eat anymore that I sometimes miss terribly, then I think it is silly to miss a food…but I do. I went vegan for half a year and for a while I really really missed eating cheese, it was strange, but then the longer I went without it the easier it was to not eat it.
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  2. It’s tough. I think food is always a big part of the relationship experience. It’s one of the simple ways in which we bond. When two romantically involved people have very different diets it can be a drag. It’s much more difficult when one half begins to adhere to a new dietary lifestyle after the relationship has begun. Diets can become almost like a religion if we let them. Not that it’s our faults, some people require rigidly specific diets.

    1. For sure! I was mostly single while I was losing my 100 pounds. I dated a few guys but nothing long term. I was close to goal weight when I met my boyfriend. We’ve been together almost 5 years now. And I went into the relationship with better food habits and a healthy lifestyle.

  3. I’ve just started doing a Paleo-like thing — meaning no dairy or wheat or artificial stuff. I’ve really been working on cutting down my consumption of Equal – I used to have 3-4 cups of coffee a day with 2 Equals in each cup — plus whatever Equal I would add to oatmeal or anything else. The past few days I’ve had NO EQUAL at all – it was a gradual thing but I’m hoping to stick to it. I’m still using fat free half and half which I know is totally artificial – I’ve tried almond milk but it doesn’t give me that same creaminess. Anyway – that wasn’t your question! I think it’s easy to conform to what your sig other is doing most of the time – I find it hard at restaurants. And the subject of pizza hasn’t come up since I’ve started doing this – chances are I would just order a salad and sulk.

    1. The transition in any new dietary change is always hard. It was REALLY hard to give up dairy for a month but by the second week, I didn’t really think about it much.

      LOL sorry about the pizza/salad sulking. Great image though. 🙂

  4. I sometimes mourn the old days of just eating with abandon. Those were fun days 😀

    John is moving to a more vegetarian/pescetarian diet and that is a hard change for us to eat meals together. I have no desire to give up meat (and I struggle with fish)- although I try to only buy local or ethically raised meat. He will eat seafood and poultry, but no beef or pork any more.
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  5. Hi Lisa,

    Thanks for sharing your story. I need to inform my friend about this because he has a major sinus issue and I think by adopting this diet plan, he may be able to overcome it. 🙂


  6. Due to various reasons, hubby and I are adopting gluten free. That being said, I know exactly how you feel. However, I rarely ate bread, and pasta was occasional. I did find an AMAZING fresh pasta that you would never know is GF. It’s called RP’s Pasta Company. We tried the spinach fettuccine, and it was delicious. You should see if you can’t get it anywhere near you. They have lots of different varieties 🙂
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  7. We don’t have any dietary alergies or sensitivities, but we do end up eating a lot of naturaly gluten free food unintentionally. We are big quinoa fans, so we use that as a grain for a lot of meals and we use brown rice in most of the others. We don’t eat a ton of pasta, so that helps, too…and sometimes we use spaghetti squash instead of regular noodles, too.
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