Controversy

Friday Night Confessions

It’s been awhile since I’ve been to confession. So here goes…

Confession: I am totally ashamed to admit this but I absolutely LOVE the new Robin Thicke song.

I know. How embarrassing is that?!?! Am I the only one that thinks of Alan Thicke whenever you hear the name Robin Thicke or one of his songs?

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The song is catchy and sexy–reminding me of Marvin Gaye and Earth Wind and Fire and I find myself dancin’ a little bit whenever the song come on. {hangs head in shame} And doesn’t he look like George Michael in the above video?!?

Confession: I have a 14 year old girl crush on JT. Like I’d probably be in the first row of his concert screaming like the other 14 year old girls if I didn’t want to keep SOME shred of my 33 year old dignity.

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Whenever he hosts SNL I get ridiculously excited and squeal like I just won the lottery. Fat Kitty’s eyes get super big and I’m sure he’s looking around for the mouse I must have seen… Michael gets sooo annoyed. But, I know his confession would be that he loves JT too. 🙂 He’s FUNNY on Saturday Night Live! The skit he does about the Vegan Town is hi-larious.

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To all the other 14 year old girls with crushes, you’re welcome for those photos. MOVING ON…

Confession: I have sung karoake exactly ONE time in my life. I have zero singing talent, can’t carry a tune, have no sense of timing and hate being the center of attention. So karaoke has never once been something I aspired to do. One time I had a friend who was a drag queen (and awesome performer) who serenaded me at a club with Dancing Queen and managed to get me on stage but I surely did not sing with her! Anyway, so back to the one time I sang…

I met my friends Jackie and Kathi at this total dive bar in Milwaukie (Oregon). It’s a steak house and definitely not the kind of place mid-20-somethings would ever go to but they wanted to sing and picked out the place. I drove from my place in SE Portland to what I thought was the boonies (at the time) and met them at this super dark, weird restaurant. It ended up being a cowboy bar. After several hours of drinking, eating fried foods and watching cowboys get up there and sing, they FINALLY convinced me to get up there. I agreed but ONLY if the two of them came up there with me. So the three of us got on stage and sang this song:

It’s a girl my lord in a flatbed Ford slowin’ down to take a look at me! Yep, I sang my favorite Eagles song. You should have seen the evil glares from the half dozen patrons in the bar…the nerve of us…singing an Eagles song in a cowboy bar…

It was just as awful as you imagine it to be.  🙂 But I did it.

Confession: I’ve started watching two shows new to me: Hung and Homeland. I’ve heard great things about both but so far I’m on the fence. I don’t feel like my life would be missing out on something if I stopped watching either show, but I’m hanging on to see if they get better. Especially with Homeland–so many people talk about how it’s the best show on TV (I have to disagree, Breaking Bad or Walking Dead are the best) that I feel like I’m missing something.

Another couple shows that Michael and I tried but gave up on were The Americans and The Following. The Following had such potential. I love Kevin Bacon, I like those types of shows…but it got absolutely ridiculous and predictable and I was SO ANNOYED that everyone on the show turned out to be a secret member of the cult. Give me a break. Lazy writing if you ask me. So we gave up half way through.

Since I’m confessing about TV shows, I just have to say this…

Confession: I love Modern Family and think it’s one of the funniest and smartest shows on TV right now. But I absolutely loathe Lilly. She ruins the show. She’s a horrible actor (yes I know she’s just a kid) and I feel like the writers are crowbar-ing her into the show to give her a bigger part than she needs to have. She seriously ruins the show for me. I can’t be the only one

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Confession: I’m pretty bummed that I’m not attending Fitbloggin this year. I’ve wanted to go to a blogger conference for a few years now but the cost of the conference and a plane ticket discouraged me. This year it’s in Portland! Sounds perfect right? Except it seems to be sold as a package deal –including the hotel–which makes it just as expensive as it would be to go to one out of town! So disappointing. 🙁 I really wish they had an option for people who don’t want to stay in a hotel. 🙁 BUMMER!!!

But on a positive note, if anyone wants to meet for coffee or something, or needs advice on must see and must do things in Portland, let me know! 🙂

QUESTION: Got anything to confess?

Little Girl Blue

{Buy Here}

I read a book recently that touched me deeply. The book was “Little Girl Blue: The Life of Karen Carpenter.” To be honest, I knew nothing about Karen Carpenter other than she died of anorexia. I suppose I just missed that generation being born in 1980 and never heard the music either.

What drew me to this book was the “why?”–why was she anorexic? What happened to her? The book was a very fast read because it was so fascinating. It started with her upbringing and how The Carpenters came to be, including their successes and failures. The story I really wanted to know was what happened to such a talented, young woman that seemed to have the world in her hands. This book went into detail and explained it, the best anyone really can.

I could tell right away that the “why” was probably her mother. Her mother was an overbearing control-freak who never showed her daughter love and propped her brother, Richard, up like he was a king. Even after it was clear that Karen was the talent and the star, she was still treated like a second-class citizen and neither kids moved out of their parents home until their late 20’s! Honestly her brother wasn’t much better. He was an egotistical prima donna and probably jealous of Karen’s success. There was also something a little weird about their brother-sister relationship (they both tried to sabotage each other’s romantic relationships).

Perhaps controlling her food and appearance was the only in her life she could be in charge of. And I imagine stepping out from behind the drums to become the singer made her even more self-conscious of her curvy figure.

What was most interesting to me was that this happened in a time period when “anorexia nervosa” was nearly unheard of. People just didn’t know. They didn’t know what the disease was, they didn’t recognize the symptoms, they didn’t know how to help.

” ‘Anorexia was not something that was talked about or known about in those days,’ her friend Olivia Newton-John said. ‘People were very thin, but you didn’t realize what it was.’ [pg 246]”

At one point, Karen was taking 80 laxatives a day and was using ipecac to purge. She was doing the classic things that anorexics do: not eating food but pushing it around on the plate to make it look like she was, telling her friends to take bites of her “amazing dinner” to give the food away, wearing layers and layers of clothing to hide just how skinny she was.

“She rearranged and pushed her food around the plate with a fork as she talked, which gave the appearance of eating. Another of her strategies involved offering samples of her food to others around the table…By the time dinner was over, Karen’s plate was clean, but she had dispersed her entire meal to everyone else. [pg 129]”

“She loved to go lay out in the sunshine. I don’t know whether it was to get a tan or to get away from her mother. Anyhow, I happened to go out to the kitchen for something and I saw her out there. She just had on her little bathing suit shorts. You couldn’t tell whether it was a girl or a boy. She had absolutely no breasts. [pg 131]”

She had to buy a new wardrobe for a tour and opted for several low-cut gowns, some were strapless or backless. The manager commented: “…[I] was horrified to see her bony shoulders and ribs. Even her hip bones were visible through the thin layers of fabric. [I] asked Karen to rethink the wardrobe choices before going on stage. ‘I talked her into putting a jacket on over the bare back and bare arms, but the audience saw it.’ There was a collective gasp from the audience when Karen would take the stage. [pg 137]” People wondered if she had cancer.

At the end of 1981, Karen expressed her realization to her family: “Richard, I realize I’m sick and I need help. [pg 245]” She went to New York to see a therapist and ended up living in a hotel for nearly a year while she got weekly counseling–not inpatient care like she needed. Eventually she went to the hospital for a feeding tube and put on 30 pounds. But that was just too much strain on her heart.

She eventually returned to LA “cured” and stayed with her parents. One morning her mother found her unconscious. The medics were called. It was really too late, but they took her to the ER and tried to revive her. The paramedic said: “Karen looked frail and very thin. A faint pulse was detected with her heart beating only every ten seconds. This is a sure sign of a dying heart. [pg 276]”

32 years old. 32 and she died of a heart attack and dehydration due to years of anorexia. I’m 32 years old. It’s shocking to see photos of her right before her death because she looks like she was 70 years old, not 32.

There really isn’t a “why” that can satisfy anyone. “Why” would someone who was beautiful and talented NOT see it? “Why” would she let herself get so skinny and still think she was fat? Despite the tragic topic, the book was really, really good. I’d give it 5/5 stars.

QUESTION: Were you a fan of The Carpenters? Do you remember when Karen passed away?