This morning I got on the scale for my monthly weigh-in. I had a number in mind that I wanted to see (145 or less).
I’m not going to post what I saw today. I’m half hoping that the salty food I ate this weekend is the culprit and I’ll weigh myself tomorrow and hope the number changes.
Needless to say I wasn’t happy. I’ve been pretty good about counting my calories, eating in moderation, not eating too much candy from Halloween. I’ve been lifting weights, jogging, swimming and walking when I can. I took a week off in the middle of October when I got sick, but I really have a hard time accepting that 4 days of no exercising will cause a gain. Especially for me and as active as I am.
So seeing a number I didn’t like threw me for a loop. It had me second guessing everything I’ve been doing. “I shouldn’t have eaten that extra Halloween candy” etc etc etc. Michael pointed out that being focused on a number torments me–and it really does. I have no idea WHY I have a specific number in mind, but I do.
A gain doesn’t necessarily mean a weight gain. I know this. But being hyper-sensitive to the number on the scale for years makes it difficult to just ignore it.
This month clearly I need to think of the positive, Non-Scale Victories.
- Michael told me that I’ve gained muscle and I’m looking skinnier than ever.
- I ran into an old co-worker I haven’t seen in years last week and she gushed at how fantastic I looked.
- My jeans have been really loose for weeks. Even shrinking them in the dryer this weekend they are still loose.
- My stomach is smaller. Noticeably.
- According to my measurements I’ve lost over an inch around my waist.
- When I walk my arms don’t hit my hips/waist at all when they swing.
A current coworker, Rick, said this morning that I looked like I had lost weight and that I was gaining muscle. His comment was completely unprompted and out of the blue. It felt nice to have someone comment without provocation that I was clearly become more muscular. He mentioned that skinny people can often be flabby and that I was toning up. It was a very nice comment!
I know I need to keep doing what I’m doing, focus on how my clothes fit instead of that effing number. I struggle. Weight loss and maintenance isn’t always easy. This was a reminder.
Katy wrote a very timely post about this, about how size is just a number. She said she’s 10 pounds heavier than she was last year but her smaller clothes fit better than last year. It’s so strange how that can happen and it happens to me a lot. I maybe 5 pounds heavier than I was at my lowest (1.5 years ago) but I’m fitter, stronger, and wearing smaller clothes than I was then. Bizarre!
It wasn’t the best way to start my week. I’m disappointed and frustrated but giving up won’t get me anywhere either.
I am in control of my life.
I make choices, whether they are good or bad, I am responsible for them.
I will focus on the positives.
QUESTION: How do you handle disappointments?
Jennifer
Thank you for this post! Whenever I have a bad week on the scale, I’m so easy to jump all over myself and pick apart everything I ate, every exercise I did or didn’t do. I need to remember that our weight fluctuates for random reasons (water retention, our periods, etc.) and focus on the Non-Scale Victories too!
Beth @ Beth's Journey to Thin
I totally can relate to this post. I’m on steroids because of an allergic reaction that I had over the weekend, and was told I will gain 5 lbs in water weight. I almost freaked out when I got on the scale this AM and they weren’t kidding. Anyways I know I am more fit now than I’ve ever been, but it’s very hard not to get caught up in the number on the scale.
Becca
I honestly think that when you’re in the healthy weight zone, as you are, small gains are attributable to all sorts of things – building muscle, water retention, etc.
There’s an iPhone app called TrueWeight that automatically smooths out any weight fluctuations. I love it, because it means that a salty-food sesh doesn’t freak me out quite as badly!
Lisa Eirene
I’ll check it out, thanks for the recommendation!
Lisa
I think focusing on the ‘non scale’ indicators really is the way to go!!!!
Jennifer is Always Sick
I don’t handle disappointments very well. Well, that’s not entirely true. Sometimes I do, and other times I don’t. It all depends on the disappointment.
Something like that though would’ve probably sent me to the fridge digging out a can of frosting, in all honesty. You definitely handled it better than I ever could. I guess we all hit our bumps in the road. You’ve got this. You’ve done so well for so long. You’re going to be fine. 🙂
@irun2befit
I can relate to this post via race finish times. For whatever reason the clock # torments me, like the # on the scale torments you. It’s silly, isn’t it? Especially if you’ve been feeling great, your pants have been loose, and you’re getting compliments. Maybe toss the scale and I’ll stomp on the clock?
Lisa Eirene
It is very silly and logically I know it’s not necessary to obsess but….alas…
Michele @ Healthy Cultivations
Disappointments. Wow! Deep topic — and one we all have to face all too frequently on large or small levels.
I think the best thing to do FIRST is to just feel it. Disappointment hurts. We might need to cry or yell or hit a pillow or whatever. Only after we fully feel it can we start to look at the situation and search for the lesson inside it.
I believe every single thing that happens to us (good, bad, horrible, wonderful) has meaning and can teach us something.
Lisa Eirene
I agree with you. I think things happen for a reason. My running injury opened the doorfor me to try new things, for example.
Carbzilla
I’m so sorry for your frustration. I’ve sorta gotten to a place where I’m comfortable in a range. Even though I want to weigh less, my goal is a range, not a number.
Can I add that I met you last month and thought you looked fantastic? 🙂
Lisa Eirene
Thanks Tiff! 😉 I like the idea of a range a lot.
Lori (Finding Radiance)
The scale is a tough mistress at times. Who knows why it shows a number one day and then something totally different the next. I get sort of caught up in wanting to be a certain number weight, when I don’t know if that is possible. I will tell you that you will weigh more and be smaller when you lift. People are always surprised at how much I weight because I look smaller than one would think at my weight and height. Lifting rocks.
Lisa Eirene
Lori that means a lot coming from you. Since you lift a lot. Thanks. 😉
Nicole
Muscle definitely weighs more than fat! I actually threw away my scale, because I want to focus on how I look and feel… even how my clothes fit. Knowing my weight tends to only frustrate me. 🙂