175 pounds

Addicted to Exercise

“She goes from one addiction to another. All are ways for her to not feel her feelings.” ~Ellen Burstyn

Have you ever been addicted exercise? It’s similar to the topic of Over-training, which I’ve written about before. Addiction is a funny thing. Drugs, food, even positive things like exercise can turn into something negative…

I’ve been guilty of both over-training and exercise addiction. Thinking back to certain points in my weight loss journey I can pinpoint three different times when I was definitely bordering on an addiction.

When I first started losing weight and exercising, I was terrified that I’d be derailed and fail. It was definitely an “all or nothing” frame of thinking (which I am guilty of a lot). I’d made the decision to lose weight and I was NOT failing. I ate the same food every day and counted my calories. I stopped doing social things like happy hour, dinner in restaurants, desserts with friends, parties, holidays…I didn’t think I could be strong enough to resist the overeating these social events could cause.

I also became very rigid in my exercise schedule. I swam certain days of the week and I did not deviate from that. Why? I was worried that once I stopped, or took a few days off, that I’d quit exercising completely.

Once I got settled into my new routine of counting calories, eating better, and swimming I calmed down. The obsession improved and I no longer felt like I would fail if I took a break. I developed a much healthier relationship with food and exercise.

This healthy relationship worked well for about a year and a half. Then around 175 pounds I plateaued. I was frustrated at the long plateau and I thought the answer was more exercise. I exercised in some form every day for 28 days. That was way too much. After that experience I realized that I had to build in 2 Rest Days a week to my routine. No matter what. Since then I’ve calmed down. Plateaus are frustrating but they don’t send me to the gym for an obsessive workout now. I’ve learned to listen to my body and not freak out. Exercise is not always the answer. And exercise SHOULD NOT be a punishment!


The third time that I experienced some addictive tendencies was when I was running. I was training a LOT for Hood to Coast. I was definitely over-training and my body was telling me in various ways (bursitis in my ankle, strained sacrum, IT Band). My body was letting me know I was pushing it. That running high was hard to give up though. I kept pushing it–and injured myself. A break from running was much needed and ended up being a positive thing.

What is exercise addiction? “Exercise addicts may have a very rigid fitness schedule to which they always adhere. They may compulsively exercise alone to avoid attracting the attention of others, including trainers and gym staff. Addicts will exercise even though they are sick or injured, in the end causing more physical problems for themselves. They may miss work, school, or other social obligations to exercise.”

Excessive exercise can be a symptom of anorexia/bulimia. “Exercise addiction, on the other hand, is a chronic loss of perspective of the role of exercise in a full life. A healthy athlete and an exercise addict may share similar levels of training volume — the difference is in the attitude.”

 

Some things to ask yourself:

  • Do I neglect all social situations to exercise?
  • Does missing a workout makes me depressed, irritable and stressed?
  • Have family or friends have told me I exercise too much?
  • Does my body hurts all the time because I never rest?
  • Do I not have any other hobbies beyond the gym?
  • Do I set unrealistic goals for myself?
  • Do I have unrealistic goals for how much I should weigh?
  • Do I ignore the signs of injury and over-training?
  • Am I spending hours in the gym each day?

How to End the Addiction

Most of the time something like this will just work itself out. For me it just took time and learning some lessons on my own. The longer I went maintaining my 100 pound weight loss the less anxious I was about gaining it all back. Now? 3 years later? I know that I’ve changed my lifestyle in a positive way and I’ve created a balance in my life with vigorous but moderate exercise, rest days and healthy eating. That’s not a recipe for gaining 100 pounds.

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY

I learned that the hard way (IT band). But the injury turned into a blessing and I’ve definitely been much happier and healthier living in a balanced way.

  • Rest: Listen to the body—if it’s sore, rest! Schedule at least 1 rest day/week. (I do 2 a week.)
  • Get support from friends and family.
  • Sleep: don’t neglect your body’s basic needs.
  • Drink water.
  • Meditation: Find a positive mantra and do it every day.
  • Cross train: try swimming instead of running.
  • Get help. Therapy is a wonderful thing. It’s helped me over the years in different ways.
  • Don’t take out your frustration on loved ones. (I’ve definitely been guilty of that when injured.)
  • Get a new hobby. Maybe a cooking class? Something once a week that will allow you to have a break from exercising but will keep you occupied.
  • Schedule time with friends. Especially friends who AREN’T workout buddies. Grab a happy hour and enjoy it!

“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.” ~Carl Jung

QUESTION: Have you ever been addicted to exercise? How did you overcome it and find a healthy balance?

A Visual Aid

Recently Tyler talked about how he was a “hunchback” at 350 pounds.  I really understood where he was coming from because when I was 250+ pounds I was the same way.

I used to have big boobs.

Around 185 Pounds

Plain and simple! Not only were my jeans a 24W (pictured below) but I also wore a huge bra.


My bra size at my heaviest was 42FF. I know because I got fitted at Nordstrom for my brother’s wedding. Actually it was about 6 months after I’d started my weight loss journey so my bra size was probably larger at my heaviest.

During my lunch hour recently I went over to Macy’s to find a 42FF bra that I could take a photo of as a visual aid. Guess what? I couldn’t find one! I found a 42DDD, 42DD and 42G! Despite not being able to find my old size, I decided to model the closest thing to it. 42DDD.

My upper back always hurt. There was so much weight on the front of my body it just pulled my back in uncomfortable ways.


Not only where there body aches related to being a 42FF there was also the embarrassment factor. I felt so self-conscious I would wear clothes bigger than me to hide. I would also hunch my shoulders to hide my huge boobs–which increased the back pain and made my posture horrid.


I hope this visual aid gives my readers a good idea of what I used to be packin’.


Seeing the big bra I used to wear was kind of shocking. It was the shame shocking experience I had when I found my old pants cleaning out my closets. I was really glad I saved one pair of old jeans to compare just how far I had come. It is easy to “forget” where you came from and it’s quite the reminder to see it in real life.

On the flip side, now that I’m smaller I find it equally as difficult to find my size. Apparently 34DD isn’t very common.

Are you catching up on weekend reading? Read my post on how Michael and I solved our Meal Planning struggle.

I just finished reading a wonderful book and I wanted to share. You Had Me At Woof by Julie Klam. It’s a really easy read; I read the book in one day and loved it.


Oh my god that face! Adorable baby! It’s such a great book. I laughed (hysterically) and sobbed at the sad parts…It’s about a 20’s something single girl in Manhattan who decides to adopt a Boston terrier named Otto. The adorable love affair that continued changed her life. I cried when Otto passed away. She writes about the other dogs she fostered and ended up adopting and if you were ever on the fence about being a dog owner, this book will convince you to go for it. I want a puppy so bad after reading this book!

Of course after reading the book I scoured the internet for a good hour…Petfinder = Instrument of Time Suckage. I could get lost on that website for days!

Mimi

Look at that face! My hope is that 2011 or 2012 is the year Michael and I get a puppy. I’m ready!

What is everyone reading right now?

QUESTION: Have you saved old clothes that no longer fit so you can remember where you came from? What was the largest size?