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Yep, Still Waiting

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I kind of wish our doctor hadn’t said (several times) that this baby would be early. First, I don’t think doctors can really tell. Second, I feel like she jinxed us. And lastly, I feel like she set us up for the expectation that he might be early and then…39 weeks comes and still no baby…disappointing! Especially considering MOST first babies are LATE.

So for three-ish weeks now I’ve had off and on cramping every day and every few days I start having contractions that last a few hours and then stop. Every time it happens I think “this isn’t real” and then the contractions start to change and I think “hmmm maybe these ARE the real thing?!” I try not to get too excited but it’s hard not be excited! And then…the contractions stop.

39 Weeks

Had our 39 week doctor appointment. Blood pressure was 102/58. Everything sounded good and normal and I was measuring on point.

Not much has changed. Still around 1 cm dilated–not quite 2 cm. She said he’s lower than he was last week; which I was actually wondering about because I thought he felt lower. And I used to be able to feel his little butt and legs in certain spots and haven’t felt them there the last few days.

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Because of my age (I am a geriatric mom afterall — I hate that label) the doctor said they probably wouldn’t let me go too far past my due date so if he’s not here in the next week or so we might be talking induction. I really hope not. While my Birth Plan was’t all that detailed and I am in the “whatever happens, happens” boat, scheduling an induction was not on my radar for this thing. Who knows. I’m crossing my fingers he decides to make his grand entrance this weekend.

Emotions

At the tail end of Week 38 and the beginning of Week 39 I think I had some kind of surge of hormones or something. Suddenly I was an emotional mess, crying at everything. Even little things that shouldn’t make you cry. Probably a combination of hormones + lack of sleep + feeling ready to be done. Also, I’ve had an acne outbreak with I’ve thankfully been avoiding for the last few months…so more hormonal changes??

Am I nervous? Starting to be. I hadn’t been nervous and anxious about the birth process mostly because I didn’t really know what to expect and hadn’t given it too much thought. I know, that makes no sense. But the last week or so I decided to read some birth stories by bloggers I like and I think the details kind of made me nervous. Mostly the time involved in the birth — like what if it takes 2 days?!?! And also the pain. So that has me slightly nervous but I’m trying not to overthink it too much. I mean, what can I do about it? It’s going to happen the way it happens…

My Body 

How am I feeling? Mixed bag. I was officially over it a few weeks ago. The body aches and pains are kind of constant. It is difficult to walk sometimes because of the pressure, how low he is and the ligaments feel stretched to the max.

Despite that, I suppose I am feeling okay. No other real complaints other than being uncomfortable. I’m still working out. Swimming is the best. It’s the only activity and time where all the aches and pains go away. I can swim and feel good, which is nice. I do a mile twice a week and always feel better after I do it. I do the elliptical 1-2x a week and that feels ok. There’s not much else I can do at this point.

I got some tea that is supposed to help with labor –red raspberry leaf. It tasted really good. Supposedly it helps “tone” the uterus and can assist in moving things a long with labor. I drank it once and about an hour or so later I felt sick to my stomach. Like I was going to be sick. I’m not sure if it was a fluke because I haven’t tried the tea again since. Lots of people swear by it so I will give it another try. Maybe I just won’t have it right before bed.

Nesting

Not really having the nesting urge lately. I’d had the urge (like crazy!!!) for months but the last few weeks it’s been the opposite–I feel more like a slug than some super-crazy-nesting-clean-everything. But we did go couch shopping (about 2 years overdue) so maybe that’s nesting?

The animals have been going ABSOLUTELY BONKERS lately.

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I swear, either it was a full moon, the Spring Crazies or an impending Earthquake or something because for the last week they’ve all been absolutely CRAZED OUT OF THEIR MINDS. Bella is doing laps through the house, unable to sit still for 2 seconds, she’s chasing Fat Kitty, Fat Kitty is teasing her. They are both being such spazzes! I have no idea what’s going on. And in between the crazy spazz-outs they both come over and sniff my belly. Maybe they can tell something is happening?!?

This is kind of my mood lately:

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So that’s about it from our neck of the woods. Probably won’t update again until he’s here! 🙂

Diagnosis: 35 Years Old

I might have mentioned this previously on the blog, but I can’t remember. Hell, I am getting old. So…

This year I’ve had several issues and injuries. Re-occurring foot pain that was a mystery, a back injury, a cold that lasted 3 weeks and just wouldn’t heal, weight loss that was non-existent. It was all very frustrating and annoying.

What was also frustrating was the attitude I was getting from healthcare professionals. My regular doctor, the RD I spoke to, the physical therapist I saw…whenever I talked to them about whatever issue was going on and I wasn’t seeing results/progress, they dismissed me with a simple statement:

“Well, you are 35.”

Michael even told me that his back issues started when he was 35 (his exact words “welcome to 35”).

Apparently somewhere between being 34 and becoming 35 in January, I crossed over into some weird land where whatever ails you is the result of being this age. I had no idea that simply being 35 years old could be the diagnosis for whatever is wrong with your body.

Your metabolism is slower and you aren’t losing weight. You’re 35.

Your body isn’t healing from a mysterious injury as fast as usual. You’re 35. 

Now, I get it. When you do age things change, your body slows down, you’re not quite the same as you were when you were 25 years old. I get it. But really? There’s that much of a change between 34 and 35?? I never “felt my age” physically before now.

When I was on vacation with my cousin Anna, I warned her. Whenever she complained about something I said “Just wait, you’re going to be 35 in a few months. It’s over.” It became the running joke. Slightly hung over? You’re almost 35. Your hip hurts? It’s because you’re 35. Just give up now, man.

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In all seriousness, when this started happening to me a few months ago I began to feel an deep-seated anger in my belly starting to rise and build. I wanted to shout to these doctors, “REALLY?! THAT IS NOT A DIAGNOSIS. Do your job for reals.” It was lazy medicine. It was “I don’t have time for you and your problem”. It was dismissive and it made me angry. I’m sorry but no, that is not the end-all-be-all to every problem. Maybe if I was 80 years old, but not today, not now. I am determined to fix myself. I will not let what ails me just get worse because some stupid doctors don’t want to bother.

Another thing I noticed recently was the phenomenon of becoming invisible.

Is this also attributed to becoming 35 years old?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been walking down the street or something and someone bangs into me because apparently I’m in my invisible cloak. The other day at the gym I was lying on a mat down my PT exercises and a dude STEPPED OVER ME. Like I wasn’t even there. What the hell? Maybe I really AM invisible. And no one told me. Because they can’t see me.

Can you see me?? IS THIS THING ON? tap tap tap

Anyhoo. Apparently I’m having a midlife crisis.

Well, I am 35. So right on schedule, right?