goal weight

The “After” – 6 Year Anniversary

6 Years

When I think back to when I started my journey to lose 100 pounds, I don’t think I ever thought about the “After.” Not really. I think part of that was that I’d never really been skinny and part of it was that I doubted whether I’d ever reach the “After.” I had a goal in my mind and I naively thought that all my problems would thus be fixed when I was “skinny” and while they weren’t magically improved, there was a lot of improvement in my life. The biggest improvement, obviously, was my health. I was no longer pre-diabetic and I didn’t have high blood pressure. Mission accomplished. But when I was steadily truckin’ along, losing a pound here and a pound there, I couldn’t really see my future as a “skinny” person and now that I’ve kept the weight off for 6 years, I have a hard time picturing myself as I used to be. It’s strange how your reality and perception changes.

Over the years I’ve had ups and downs in my weight. I gained 15 pounds a few years ago and it took a really long time to lose that extra 15 pounds but I did it. Despite the occasional body image issues I still struggle with, my weight has been maintained in the same 4-6 pound range. Sometimes it’s more of a struggle to keep myself in that range. I am no longer naive about weight loss and I KNOW it takes hard work and honesty.

Honesty is the hard part. When you’re obese you’re not honest with yourself, or others, not really. When I was obese I would sneak food,  I’d eat in private, I’d make excuses as to why I wasn’t losing weight, I’d make excuses to other poeple– “No really, I don’t eat that much…I don’t know why I can’t lose weight…”  (Read these posts: Why Can’t I Lose Weight?An Excuse to Eat, and Overcoming Exercise Obstacles.) Once I faced that I was lying about everything and that I hadn’t REALLY tried to lose weight, I had renewed desire to really succeed this time.

I had to change the way I thought about food.

I had to change the way I thought about exercise.

I had to change the way I thought about MYSELF. No more excuses. 

Was it easy? Hell no! There were so so so many plateaus. There were set-backs. There were some very frustrating times where I felt like I was being punished because I couldn’t eat the same things everyone else was eating. Is it easier now that the weight is gone? Nope. It’s still hard. I still have to make an effort. I can’t just let things slide. I will probably always have to count my calories or do some sort of food tracking. I don’t think as a reformed binge-eater I can just stop doing what worked to lose the weight and keep it off and not expect to gain it back. So the hard work continues.

before

Don’t take that as a negative. Sure I’d love to not be AWARE of how many calories are in foods and wouldn’t it be nice to just sit down and binge eat a carton of ice cream? Or half a pizza (or, ahem, a whole pizza) like the old days? But I can’t unlearn that knowledge and I know how my body feels when I eat junk and when I eat good, healthy foods. I dislike that feeling of overeating now and when I go too long without eating fruits and vegetables I feel ill. Most of the time my healthy choices are second nature and I don’t give them any thought. On those times when it does feel like my willpower isn’t as strong as I’d like, I try to cut myself some slack. It’s ok to take a break sometimes.

It’s my 6th year anniversary of reaching goal weight. I’m now at the “After.” It feels like a lifetime ago, but at the same time I still feel that same giddy joy when I remember that moment when I stepped on the scale and saw GOAL WEIGHT. That feeling is still there and it helps keep me motivate to keep trying when things get rough.

Check out previous year’s anniversary posts here:

My 100 Pound Anniversary

100 Pound Anniversary – 3 Years

100 Pound Anniversary – 4 Years

Another Year Gone By — 5 Years

magazine9

Things are changing in my life. Priorities are shifting, goals are changing, but the fact remains: I love my fit life and I will always make myself and my health a priority. It has to be that way. If I’m healthy, my family is healthy. In a little over a month I will be marrying the love of my life. I expect we’ll start discussing family planning in the next year or two and that will most definitely effect my weight loss/maintenance journey. My sincere hope is that I can maintain a healthy weight for the rest of my life and hopefully pass on my love of healthy living to my future children.

For now, I keep truckin’ along. Another day, another week, another year goes by and I can happily say “I’m at goal weight.” That’s enough for me. Skinny isn’t necessary. I’d rather be healthy and fit.

Thanks for reading all these years!

February Weigh In

Wednesday I had a training for work I had to attend. It started later than my normal start time so I decided to try and workout BEFORE work this time. My alarm went off at 6am. I groaned. It was painful. Too early! Oh my god. I stumbled in the dark to get dressed and I weighed myself for February (more on that later).

It was dark outside, freezing cold and I was so tired. But I made it to the gym and had my pick of treadmills.


That poster inspires me every time I see it at the gym. Cheesy? Yes. But it’s true! No matter how much I DON’T want to workout…I feel 1000% better after I do. I had a good run on the treadmill (watching an old episode of House) and enjoyed the quietness of the mostly-empty gym. It was almost meditative being there by myself.


There are two downsides to working out in the morning before work: First, I hate getting up early. It’s a struggle. Second, I am short on time. Even with a late start at work I still had to hustle. I finished my 3 mile run and tried to squeeze in some weight training.


I was disappointed that I didn’t have more than about 25 minutes to spend on my weight lifting but I had to make a choice. Cut my run short and lift longer, or vice versa.  Since Tuesday night I had done some weights I figured I made the right decision by getting in my full run.


I was a bit sore from last night’s session. I REALLY noticed it on the Ab Machines. Ouch. No pain no gain!


I had a good workout and discovered that working out before work meant I didn’t need coffee. Another bonus! I was wide awake.


Gym Stats:

Time: 1:05

Calories Burned: 555

I hurried home to shower, eat my oatmeal and head into the office. The rest of the day I felt like I was chasing my hunger though. I was hungry pretty much all morning (despite the banana, water and string cheese I snacked on).

QUESTION: If you’re a morning gym rat, do you find that you are chasing your hunger the rest of the day?



February Weigh In

Now onto the big news… my January 2011 Weigh-in had me at 147.2 pounds. I was dreading February’s weigh-in. I KNEW I gained. I just knew it. I felt like my stomach was bigger. I measured myself and the measurements were way off compared to last month. I was just dreading it. 🙁 All the birthday celebrations, the food I indulged in, the serving size slip-ups, the CANDY I went nuts eating…I tallied it all in my head as a reason why I probably gained.

Before I stumbled to the gym in the dark this morning I stepped on the scale to see if my dread was warranted. And guess what? I WASN’T! I stood there in shock looking at the number.

144.2

144.2? I’m really DOWN 3 whole pounds since January?

Holy Moly!!! I was doing a little victory dance in the bathroom (trying not to wake up Michael) and inside I was squealing! I am now 1 pound away from the LOWEST I’ve ever weighed. My goal is within reach!


I took a moment in my rush to get to the gym to savor the moment. This time last year? I weighed 159 pounds. 14.8 pounds gone. That was the 15 pounds I gained on Celexa. I am so happy and so proud of myself for almost getting rid of those 15 pounds. 😀

QUESTION: Have you had a surprise weight loss recently? Brag about your successes!