trigger foods

Diet Update #3

A few days ago I posted on IG about how I was afraid to weigh in. My clothes have been looser (and I went down a size in jeans) but Halloween really set me back. Suddenly I had access to candy at work and at home and try as I might to resist, I had a lot of candy. Dammit! But a friend, and fellow long time maintainer, commented and said to weigh in, accept it, move on and do better. So I did. And it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. I was 1 pound up from my last weigh in. Not bad at all after four days of candy eating.

NSV this week – I had to buy a new bra. I was a 34DD for years and when I got pregnant and was nursing I was a 38DD. My bras are now too big! I had to buy a new one! And going down one size felt good and very motivating!

Something I’ve been reflecting on lately is that this diet is super hard for me to maintain. I can do it pretty well for a few weeks and then carb creep starts to happen and I find that I am getting closer and closer to 100 grams of carbs on most days. I don’t know why I am so good at it in the beginning but then end up failing–especially since my goal is 50 grams of carbs (so not a true low carb diet, which seems IMPOSSIBLE to me!).

I’m starting to wonder if maybe I should try and focus on keep my carbs low during the work week (it’s usually easier for me to stay on track during the week) and then on the weekends just have a normal diet, eat whatever I want in moderation and stay within my calorie goals. So instead of a cheat meal, just take a break on the weekends.

This is something I’ve been thinking about lately. Curious what my readers think, especially if they have experience doing a similar diet. Thoughts?

New recipe:

Lately I’ve been craving meatballs. Michael was happy to oblige and make some low carb meatballs I found online! He used this recipe: Low Carb Meatballs.

I made a salad and topped it with the meatballs and feta cheese plus Goddess Dressing. The meatballs were so good! We both loved them. They turned out really well and held together well, too, despite no breadcrumbs. The recipe was a bit on the salty side, but overall it was really good. And I loved that it was low in carbs.

Michael made extras so that I can take some to work for lunches this week. He said he could eat these meatballs every week. 😀 Definitely a winner!

New To Me:

I had this as an afternoon snack one day:

Bone broth. 40 calories, 9 grams of protein (love that!), no carbs. It was kind of a blustery, fall day and sipping on some hot broth was nice. In the future, I would do this with a snack. It felt slightly weird to just drink some bone broth. I think some cheese or nuts or something would be nice to have with it.

Cheat Meal

I don’t know that I really “deserved” a cheat meal last week since I ate a few pieces of Halloween candy basically every single day…sigh…but I decided part of the reason I was eating candy again was because the low card diet is so restrictive. I hoped a legit cheat meal would reset my brain (and it kind of did).

I met up with my friend Robyn for a long overdue girl’s dinner. We met up at Maru Korean Restaurant and it was really good! We both got a beer with dinner. I ordered the bibimbap and she got something similar, except hers came in a sizzling pot that made the rice crispy.

They brought out a bunch of toppings, too. I really liked my dinner. It was a lot of food and I didn’t eat all of it. It was a little heavy on the rice and light on the beef, but the flavors were really good. We both enjoyed our dinners and I’d go back to that restaurant for sure.

So that was my week!

Getting Serious

I loved this article so much. If you have the time, give it a read: How to Feel Better About Not Being as Good as You “Should” Be. It definitely speaks to where I am at currently.

Life is a lot different these days. In some ways it’s the same as it was pre-baby. Work, chores, life, gym, friends and family. It’s similar in routine, we just have a little life with us now. 🙂

But I’m different. My priorities have shifted. My body is different, obviously. And it’s hard to come to terms with that. I was making some progress with weight loss this summer. I lost about 4-ish pounds and was feeling re-energized and motivated.

Then that plateaued. I stalled out. Then I ran into some issues. Sure I could make excuses but the facts are: I was stressed out about Logan starting daycare and did some stress eating. I regained a few of those pounds I’d lost and that was very discouraging. The other fact: I had a major decrease in my milk supply when I tried to reduce my calories.

I wrote a post a few months ago about wanting to get back into fitness and that I wanted to lose some weight but that I obviously Logan was the priority and if I saw a cause and effect in my dieting and milk supply I would back off.

So I did.

I kept working out 4-5 times a week and I was still counting my calories. My priority was feeding Logan. I was disappointed I had to take a break from trying to lose weight but I reminded myself what my priority was at that moment. I came to terms with the fact that my weight loss goals would probably have to wait until I was done breastfeeding.

I started to write this post several months ago. Then we started getting sick. All.The.Time. Seriously–too many colds to count, bronchitis TWICE, sinus infection TWICE, freakin’ pink eye…! It felt like we’d never be well again. Everyone in our house was sick. I’d get back on track with the gym and get in one or two workouts and then I’d get sick AGAIN and take a week off from the gym.

For the last month I’ve been feeling pretty depressed. A big part of that is the constant illnesses. You just don’t feel good about yourself or life when you are sick. And exercise has always been a positive way that I relieve stress and improve my mood. Not being able to do that consistently has effected my moods more than anything, I think.

Waiting to lose weight has been a hard thing to reconcile in my mind, though. Especially since my “identity” has kind of been “the girl who lost 110 pounds” for so long.

Well, recently I’ve come to the realization that I think breastfeeding is coming to an end soon. My supply has dwindled to less than half of what it was. Logan is less interested in breastfeeding and I reached my goal of breastfeeding for 9 months. So starting in January I think I’m going to start slowly weaning and then focusing on my health and losing weight.

I won’t lie — I’m having a hard time with all of this. I’m struggling with the idea of quitting breastfeeding, even if it’s time. I’m feeling very emotional about all of that.

I’m also struggling with going back to being restrictive with my diet in order to lose weight. I thought those days were long over–and that I could easily lose weight doing what I’ve done for 10 years. But the reality is, I’m going to have to buckle down and cut my calories, say no to that second glass of wine, cut out sweets and stop eating old trigger foods (like pizza) in order to lose.

I’ve preached “eating in moderation” and not starving yourself for years and I plan on following my own advice. But I also need to stop making excuses for eating one more cookie or snacking on crap and not logging it. I need to be accountable to myself and honest. 

The day after Christmas, depressed about the photos of myself from the holiday (I mean really, should that have been my focus?? Or should I have been focusing on my baby’s first Christmas?) I stepped on the scale expecting the worst. It wasn’t too bad. I’d gained 3 pounds since the end of October. Basically–all the weight I managed to lose over the summer was back. I still have 20 pounds to lose.

So soon. Soon my body will be mine again and I can get serious about this 20 pounds.