burned out

Balance in Life

I recently read an article that I wanted to share with you guys. Here is the link: I Stopped Exercising For One Year: Here’s What Happened. I read the article and found myself nodding and saying “yes!” to a lot of stuff in the article. It was well-written and I think a lot of people can relate to it. I know I could.

When I first started losing weight I had to be super diligent–like almost obsessive. I was counting my calories and I had to be strict. I had over 100 pounds to lose and I felt weak–I didn’t think it would work or “stick” and so I was diligent about staying within my calorie range each day. That meant denying myself a lot of stuff.

During my exercise mania days, I ate “clean” most of the time, which means, I stripped every bit of fun out of the experience of eating. Every day I ate grilled whatchamadingle with a side of steamed doojawockey. I removed sugar, alcohol and complex carbs out of my diet, along with the will to live.

Yes yes and yes. I stopped drinking all alcohol for the year and a half it took to lose the weight. I just didn’t need the calories. I stopped drinking all of my calories, which was a smart move on my part. But did that mean I stopped doing fun things like going out with friends to happy hour? Yep, it sure did. I didn’t trust myself in the beginning to make good choices — with food or alcohol. In those early days of trying to lose weight I didn’t think I could have just one drink and I knew I wouldn’t be able to order a salad or something and skip the happy hour treats like deep fried foods and fatty treats. You know how it goes…having fun out with friends, have a cocktail, someone orders some fatty food for the table and you vow to have just one bite but then…things get away from you and suddenly you’ve completely tanked your calories for the day. So I just didn’t go out. It sucked.

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Eventually I felt more confident and trusted myself and I started going out again. I found that I could make better choices and I COULD limit myself to one drink and one happy hour treat instead of completely derailing my weight loss goals.

Once I reached my goal weight I was able to loosen the reigns a little bit. I didn’t stop doing what worked but I did allow myself to have treats here and there. Doing things in MODERATION worked so much better for me. Instead of the early days of weight loss where I was afraid of the slippery slope one treat or one drink could do to my diet, I enjoyed more things and enjoyed life. Instead of feeling restricted, I ate whatever I wanted in moderation and it worked for a really long time–years in fact.

After all, life is supposed to be fun–good food enjoyed with people you love.

Something that disappointed me about the article was that the author quit the gym and then proceeded to just eat junk food. As she said–the dam burst. She gained weight and gave in to all the junk. On some level I can understand that but I was hoping that she’d say she quit the gym and quit being obsessed with food and … somehow found a balance.

The article went on to talk about exercising a lot:

I lifted weights. I trained with kettle bells. I climbed a zillion steps to nowhere on the stairmaster. I yoga’d and spun and kick boxed. I set impractical and ludicrous fitness goals, like being able to do 20 unassisted pull ups.

There were other downsides to being an exercise devotee. Going to the gym was time-consuming. Aside from exercising, there’s also getting changed, traveling to and from the gym, showering afterwards – it took up hours of my day. I put more energy into my relationship with exercise than I did with a living human being.

Again, I could relate 100%. Like with food, I went through phases of being obsessed with it. In the early days I did overexercise. I didn’t take rest days like I should and that lead to burnout, overuse injuries and exhaustion. I learned my lesson and incorporated mandatory 2 rest days a week. I’m glad I learned that lesson early on in my “career” as a gym rat because it’s necessary. Rest days are good. For the mind and the body.

Even with rest days incorporated in my schedule, working out 5 days a week would take it’s toll once in awhile. It made it hard to do fun things after work because I “had to go to the gym.” It really limited my schedule. I wish it didn’t. It was frustrating how much effort it took. Like the author of the article said, it wasn’t just the workout, it was the travel time, changing clothes, showering afterward. For me that was about 90 minutes total of my day and that meant less time for other things.

Things that helped alleviate that in my life? When I used to run during my lunch hour at work. I loved that. It gave me so much freedom. I was able to break up the work day, get out of the office, burn off stress, get my workout done and out of the way and then I had my evenings free! To do STUFF! To have fun! See friends! Go on dates with Michael. The other thing that helped was biking to work. Again, that freed up my evenings immensely.

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Then the author said she woke up from the fog of not working out, eating junk and gaining weight and she DID find a balance that worked. Instead of hardcore everything, she found moderation.

I’ve had to reframe my whole idea of myself. My identity was wrapped around being very skinny, and I’ve had to give that up.

Now that I’m a mom I’m reevaluating my life. I think that’s why this article spoke to me so strongly. Priorities have changed in my life, obviously.

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When I was pregnant, that last month or two I started reducing my workout schedule. Instead of five days a week I went down to four. Then it was three. I was just tired, my body was starting to hurt, and I needed a break. I thought it would be a slippery slope for me–that I’d just stop exercising, that I’d fall off the horse–but I didn’t. I just took a little bit of time for myself. The world DID NOT END. It was ok.

Now that I’m easing back into the fit life postpartum, I’m thinking about the future and what I want it to look like. I know once I go back to work full time and Logan is in daycare, the last thing I’m going to want to do is drop him off at home every night and then go to the gym for an hour. I don’t want to miss these moments with my son. I don’t want to waste what tiny time I have in the evenings with Logan by leaving. I just don’t.

At the same time, I know I want to keep active, stay fit and healthy and have some ME time, too. So it’s about finding balance.

I’m already thinking about what the future might look like.

Biking to work after dropping him off at daycare once or twice a week will be a good option when the weather is nice. It means I can get my workout done and then have the whole evening at home with my family.

Running at lunch is something I’ve missed a lot! I would love to get back to that.

The gym at work is also an option. Is it ideal? No, but it’s something I can do during my lunch hour in a pinch, especially if the weather is crappy.

Working out on the weekends is still ok because Michael can be with Logan and honestly if we can find things to do together as a family that would be even better — like hiking as a family! That’s something I am really looking forward to.

Running with Logan once he’s old enough will be great.

The Warrior Room is another option, too, because they have childcare options if I need it. We also have kettlebells at home, so I can always do that if I can’t make it to the gym (or if there are childcare issues).

And maybe it’s ok to drop my schedule down to 3 or 4 days a week instead of going back to 5.

Basically what I’m saying is that my workout routine/schedule will look different in the future, but I think it is still doable. I don’t think I have to sacrifice me time, fitness and time with family as much as I thought. I just think it will take more planning and will definitely take ME to learn how to be more flexible and let somethings go if necessary. Maybe it’s doing quick sprints in the neighborhood instead of long runs on the weekend, for example.

Finding balance in life is hard, even without kids. You want to be able to enjoy the things you love to do (even if that includes sleeping in on a Saturday morning instead of getting up early for a run!) but still be fit, right? There’s GOT to be a way!

So what about you? Especially if you have small kids/babies, how did you find that balance and what worked for you? What did you think of this article?

 

Sweet Heat

Did you ever play the computer game The Sims? I loved it back in the day. If you never played it, it was kind of like creating your own soap opera. And your “characters” in the game had needs that had to be met: sleep, eat, bathroom, social, etc. There was a bar at the bottom of the screen for each need and if it got too low, the characters would tell you. They’d be angry and wave their fists at the sky. If they were tired, a bed would show above their head and if you ignored it long enough, they’d eventually pass out on the floor wherever they were standing, too exhausted to move to the bed.

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I bring this up because I kind of felt that way lately. My calender for March has been overwhelmingly crowded. Acupuncture, work, gym, plans with friends, trying to fit in downtime for myself, relationship time with Michael, chores, and volunteering. I was starting to feel like The Sims. I wanted to wave my angry fist at the sky and demand some down time! I even contemplated canceling EVERYTHING in my schedule for a few weeks.

Apparently what I needed was time with friends. Thursday after work my cousin Anna and I went out for Pho for dinner at Pho Hung. I love Pho! I ate way too much and still had enough leftovers for 2 lunches.

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After dinner, Anna and I went to N.W.I.P.A for a cider tasting. The tasting was free and I was surprised at how much I liked ciders. It was brewed by 2 Towns Ciderhouse, a brewery from Corvallis, Oregon. I loved their pear cider. It was crisp and dry, with just a little bit of sweetness. I ended up buying a bottle to take home.

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The beer bar had mostly IPAs, which is my favorite beer, and they had my favorite brewery on tap: Boneyard. I got a small glass of their Double IPA and Anna got her favorite beer, Burnside Brewing Sweet Heat. I finally got to try Sweet Heat and I liked it quite a bit. It’s a wheat ale made with apricots and Jamaican Scotch Bonnet Peppers. It was smoky and spicy but not in an unpleasant way.

I felt like I had recharged my battery after that fun evening out. We lounged at the bar for a few hours talking and I just felt a million times better.

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Friday evening one of my oldest and best friends, Rachel, came down to Portland for a mini girl’s weekend. We went out to dinner (to The Slide Inn, which was by far the absolute worst meal I’ve ever eaten in a restaurant and I’m absolutely shocked it’s still open. The food was vile, tasted bad, and I’m pretty sure it gave me food poisoning…) and Michael joined us. After the horrid meal we wanted to salvage the night so the three of us went to Pix Patisserie, just up the street from the restaurant. Their desserts are absolutely decadent and amazing and their new location on Burnside is great! The atmosphere was cool, it was a fun vibe, there was tons of space and it was packed.

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Michael and I split the creme brulee. They had about 3 or 4 items that were gluten free and the creme brulee is one. It was magnificent, creamy, crunchy, sweet, perfect. I can’t remember the last time I had creme brulee. After that Michael headed home and Rachel and I went out to a quiet little bar to catch up.

Saturday morning I got up early enough to make it to the very early body pump class. Rachel had about an hour or so of work to do so it was perfect. I got my workout done, she made some money, and then we had the rest of the day together.

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We went to The Blue Pig for brunch and seemed as though the universe was making up for the horrible dinner the night before. First, it was a gorgeous sunny day in Portland. Second, I was able to get a primo parking spot right in front of the restaurant on Hawthorne–the most popular and crowded area of Portland–and that is unheard of. Lastly, there was NO LINE. We got a table immediately and about twenty minutes later the crowds arrived. We lucked out and got in just between the two rushes. It was crazy!

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The Blue Pig’s new location on Hawthorne is great! Huge, fun, comfortable, trendy and I loved the artwork. I ordered breakfast off the kid’s menu because the regular sized portions were huge. I got French Toast, 1 fried egg and 1 sausage link. And lots and lots of coffee.

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I need to start ordering off the kid’s menu more often. It’s so much more my speed. After a month of no bread and missing French toast, I was happy to get my craving satisfied. Rachel got the pork belly hash with a humongous biscuit. Check it out:

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Our leisurely brunch was really chill and eventually we made our way to Laurelhurst Park to take advantage of the sun and 60+ degree day. We walked around and talked and then parked our butts on a bench by the lake and stayed there for a few hours. The vitamin D was happily soaked up.

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I needed that sunshine. It’s been gone far too long. Eventually Rachel and I found our way to a nearby coffeeshop that had outdoor seating in the sunshine. It was the first time I’d been to the Flying Cat Coffeeshop and it was great! The owner was a sweetie and super friendly and the place was somewhere I’d like to hang out–very welcoming. I had a hibiscus iced tea as we sat outside in the sun.

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The rest of the day was spent outside playing Sequence, enjoying some downtime and just catching up. It had been way too long since Rachel and I got to hang out. I needed my girl’s weekend badly. Unfortunately, I spent the rest of the weekend feeling sick. Not sure if it’s food poisoning or flu or something else…it certainly was not fun or how I would have liked to spend the rest of my weekend, but I’m so glad I got to see Rachel!

QUESTION: Can you relate to this post? And did you ever play The Sims?