Jun 232015


 “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh


Recently I read an article that I posted to my Facebook group, and I wanted to write a little bit about it here, too. Here is that link: 5 Words to Heal Your Relationship with Your Body.

“I am enough.”

There’s a difference between striving to improve yourself, and beating yourself up for not being perfect. I fall into this trap sometimes. Sure I want to better myself, I want to lose weight, I want to be fitter and stronger and so on and so on…but at what point is it enough to just BE?

In the past 6 months I’ve been trying to lose some weight that I gained, was a little successful and had some setbacks, and numerous times I’ve had people ask me “what if this is just where your body is naturally?” I’ve pondered this and while I am not discounting that, I do think I can lose a little bit more. The hard part is trying to decide when to stop criticizing myself and when to accept that this is it.


I am definitely NOT compassionate to myself. Others, yes, myself, rarely. Over the years I’ve learned to back off with the gym if my body isn’t feel right. 7 years ago? I would have powered through whatever I was feeling and ignored the cues my body was giving me and beat myself up if I had to take a break. Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s having enough injuries over the years that I’ve gotten better at taking an unplanned day (or week) off if my body needs it. It’s hard having compassion for yourself.

The other component of being compassionate is to silence that negative voice in your head (we all have it). Some days that voice in my head is a lot louder than other days. Recently that negative voice was very loud when I was trying on my summer clothes from last year. Having to buy a bunch of new clothes was discouraging and I beat myself up about it for days. Was that helpful? No. But turning that voice off can be such a struggle sometimes.

Positive reinforcement word Compassion engrained in a rock

Positive reinforcement word Compassion engrained in a rock


This was a hard lesson to learn but I’ve learned it. I think what really taught me this lesson was injury. I used to take my fitness level for granted. I’d forgotten how hard I’d worked to get there. It’s not like I went from 250+ to athlete overnight — IT TOOK TIME and EFFORT. And yet I still forgot how hard I worked to get there.

When I suffered from Runner’s Knee it changed my life and my outlook on things. It was very discouraging and depressing and it was the longest injury I’ve ever had. Two years. Two years of specialists, physical therapy, massage therapy, acupuncture, yoga, X-rays and MRIs. Nothing sucks more than not knowing from day to day, or even hour to hour, if your body was going to work right. What helped heal me was going to the Warrior Room. It got me back to running and I was never more grateful or happy in my life. I worked hard to get back to being able to run without pain and I do NOT take running for granted anymore. Even if I can only run 1 mile, it’s something and it’s better than nothing and I am glad for it.



At some point, life needs to be about more than the number on the scale. It should be about living life, spending time with loved ones and enjoying things every day.

A friend was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and the first thing I thought about with the news was that nothing else really matters in the big picture: just relationships and loving life. Not measuring your food religiously every day, or going to the gym to slog through a workout you aren’t feeling, or stressing about stupid shit…

Going on a road trip with a friend and sharing the memories; sharing an amazing dessert with your spouse on your anniversary; cuddling with your fur-babies on a lazy Sunday morning; sitting on the deck on a hot summer night listening to the frogs chirp and just relaxing. These are the things that matter, not being a size 6 in jeans. It’s a shame it often takes something serious or tragic to remind ourselves of what really matters.

This is work I need to do on myself. Love myself more. Be more kind to myself. Be more understanding. Accept where I currently am. It’s okay to want more and to want to be better, but not okay to belittle myself because I’m not there yet.

Hope everyone read the article and found something in it that spoke to them, too.

Mar 252015

I’ve ranted about Pinterest several times before–about how you search for “healthy” recipes and they are really not that healthy. One of the things you also see all over Pinterest is the “thinspo” type memes. The thinspiration photos that are somehow supposed to motivate us to work out and lose weight. Sometimes they are pretty good, like this one:


I think that’s a good motto to live by. One of the issues with binge eating is that regret and food guilt immediately afterwards. I’ve felt that way so many times, vowing to never eat that way again! Then the cycle continues. It’s the same way for exercising. There are definitely days when I wish I could skip it. But then I remind myself that even though I may be in a bad mood now, I will feel better after I work out. And I always do. That workout almost always fixes my bad moods. And this one:


I love that above body-love picture. My entire life I’ve hated my stomach rolls. When I lost the weight, the rolls were still there, except this time it was loose skin. I still hated my stomach (and still do) and am working hard on trying to dispel those negative thoughts from my inner monologue. Stop the body hate. Stop criticizing myself. It’s so hard. Especially on days when you’re already feeling kind of down. But that one is a good reminder. Still beautiful.

So in that way, Pinterest memes can be beneficial. But what about this one:

I hate those ones. Working out should not be torturous. You shouldn’t be miserable. You shouldn’t be puking or passing out. A lot of newbies who are joining the gym in January to lose weight think they need to go balls-to-the-wall crazy with their workouts. That is so not the truth. You’ll be much more successful if you ease into it. Pace yourself. Give yourself rest days, give yourself a chance to catch your breath and BUILD UP TO intense fitness. Burning out the first week or two, or injuring yourself, SUCKS. Don’t do it. Ignore that meme!

This is another one that annoys me. The whole concept of a thigh gap annoys me. And then seeing stuff on blogs and online about “do this exercise and you’ll get a thigh gap!” UGH! So dumb. (Read this old post for more ranting: Thigh Gap Obsession! :) )

I want to end on a positive note, rather than just ranting over Pinterest stuff that makes me roll my eyes. How about this one:


So freakin’ true! This is one you should print out and put it up somewhere you can look at it. This is a reminder for everyone and not just about fitness. It applies to dieting, too. How many of you have been the “the diet starts on Monday” type of person? Then you spend all weekend bingeing and eating things you shouldn’t be just to start Monday morning with the super restrictive diet. That never works. Why put off something you can start today?

Making the decision to start eating healthy can start today, it doesn’t have to wait til Monday. Making the decision to get fit can start NOW. GO for a walk on your lunch break. Do some yoga stretching on your 15 minute break at work. Do 10 pushups and 50 jumping jacks first thing in the morning and each week add 10 to both activities. You’d be surprised about how easily these things will become habit and you will feel better. You will be surprised at how easily you will be able to add to these activities. You start to feel a little better and then all of a sudden joining a gym or starting to train for a 5k doesn’t seem so “big” and overwhelming. It’s the little things that add up!