Maintenance 101: Self-Love

 body changes, body image, Inspiration, Losing weight, Maintenance, Maintenance 101, Positive Body Image, weight loss  8 Responses »
Jan 232013
 

Maintenance 101: Self- Love

“Self-love seems so often unrequited.” - Anthony Powell

I’m resuming the series of posts entitled “Maintenance 101.” In this series, I’ll be addressing some of the issues I’ve found in my four+ years of weight loss maintenance. My goal for this series is to be uplifting, supportive and honest. Maintenance isn’t always easy as many of you guys know from experience, but maintenance is a crucial part of the weight loss journey. Our work doesn’t stop when we step on the scale and see our “magic number.”

ilovemyself1

This edition is honestly the hardest part for me. While the physical stuff of weight loss is a little be easier to deal with, the emotional and mental aspects are a little harder. It’s difficult change your mindset from “I’m trying to lose weight” to “I’m living a healthy lifestyle.” You don’t want to slip into old habits, so it’s normal to be hyper-vigilant and strict, at least in the beginning. As the years go by, you might get a little more comfortable and not stress about it as much, maybe weight loss is not in the forefront of your thoughts at all times (good job!). But what about the underlying emotion things?

Are you still talking down to yourself? Are you looking into the mirror and saying “I feel so fat“? This kind of negative talk is detrimental because after awhile we start to believe of what we’re telling ourselves. I know I do. I get in that cycle of negative thinking and then something snaps me out of that funk and it’s like a breathe of fresh air! Oh yeah! I don’t have to focus on the negatives and what I DON’T have! I can focus on the positive things and how far I’ve come!

You have to learn to love your body as is—no more “when I lose 5 more pounds I’ll love myself” and actually LOVE who you are right now!

Stop obsessing about the numbers. I wrote a post “It’s a Numbers Game”  where I talked about the pros and cons of focusing entirely on numbers: the number on the scale, the number of miles run, etc etc. It sometimes does more harm than good. This is especially true in maintenance mode because the tiny fluctuations can totally make you crazy. Oh my god I gained a pound! Two weeks later…Oh my god I lost 1.5 pounds! YAY! This rollercoaster ride is ridiculous and stressful!

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My tip: have a number that you definitely don’t want to go over, and then have a number that is that “danger zone.” For example: my number I don’t want to go over is 150 pounds because that was my initial goal weight when I was trying to lose 100 pounds. My “danger zone” weight is 146-148. It’s just creeping a little too closely to 150 for my liking. I try not to obsess on the number on the scale unless it’s reaching the danger zone. Then that’s cause for me to tighten the reigns and make sure I’m doing what I need to do to keep the weight off.

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Comparisons are not constructive. There will always be someone faster, stronger, skinnier, richer, smarter than you and me. Always. Getting stuck in the comparison game doesn’t get us anywhere. Avoid it!

Make a list. Write down everything that you love about your body. I struggle with this. It’s hard to give yourself praise! But MAKE THAT LIST and post it somewhere you can see it, perhaps the bathroom mirror.

Have a mantra you repeat every day. “I love myself, I love my strong legs, I have beautiful arms, I have a nice smile” etc. Fake it til you make it!

How Am I Doing?

It’s easy to give advice, it’s harder to take it. I compare myself to others. I compare my body, my athletic abilities…everything. I’m trying to curb that by reminding myself what I am thankful for in my life. I am trying hard not to obsess about the number on the scale, but I don’t always succeed in that department.

Where I am definitely excelling is thinking positive thoughts about my body and abilities. The “positive self-talk” has never been my strength. But when I have a particularly good workout or successful event, or I catch my reflection in the mirror and think “Wow, my legs look really great today!” and then I feel pretty good about myself! I need to harness that so I feel it every day!

QUESTION: How do you change your mind-frame to thinking positively about yourself and your body?

Five Truths of Maintenance  *  Maintenance 101: How to Eat  *  Maintenance 101: Challenges  *

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Why All or Nothing Doesn’t Work For Me

 fitness, food, Inspiration, limiting calories, Losing weight, Obesity, weight loss, Weight Loss Support, Willpower  23 Responses »
Jan 072013
 

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There was a time when I had an “all or nothing” point of view on life. I was 250 pounds, starting to swim a few times a week and I decided I was going to start counting my calories in order to lose 100 pounds. Because I had lived so long without doing either of those things, I had to change my habits and thinking in pretty drastic ways in order for it to work.

I knew that I had to eat less than 2,000 calories a day in order to lose the weight; which was a big change from eating 5,000+ calories a day! In order to do this, I wrote down everything I ate. I quickly discovered I was going to have to be more discriminating in my food choices if I was going to stay under 2,000 calories.

Because of this, I had an all-or-nothing attitude about food. I was GOING TO eat less than 2,000 calories a day. I WAS NOT going to eat my trigger foods (pizza, ice cream) until I lost the weight. This meant I did not eat pizza for almost two years. I also stopped drinking my calories for nearly two years. Yep, that meant no wine, beer, daiquiris, juice or regular soda! This is very much an all-or-nothing mind-frame.

I also had that mind-frame about exercise. I had a set schedule for my swimming and I did not want to deviate from that. Part of that was probably a fear that if I did take a day off, that I’d completely fall off the wagon and stop exercising. I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t somewhere in the back of mind even today.

But this rigidness is difficult to maintain forever. And I didn’t maintain it forever. After reaching goal weight and keeping it off for 4+ years now, I have loosened my rigidness a bit. I started eating pizza again and drinking alcohol on occasion.

90/10 Rule

I adopted what I call the “90/10 Rule”–this means that I count my calories and I eat healthy, but I still allow myself the treats that I want. If I’m craving a cookie, and I have enough calories in my “Bank” left for the day, I eat that cookie! While I was losing weight, I did not. I practiced great self-restraint and tried my best not to eat the “Bad Foods.”

beers

Practicing this rule has helped me stay SANE, keep the weight OFF and enjoy whatever I want in moderation. Even BEER!

Failure

I bring up the all-or-nothing attitude because I think it sets us up for failure. Yes, it worked for me to some extent but like I said, I couldn’t do it forever. I changed my lifestyle to a healthy one, but one that allows for slip-ups, allows for treats, and doesn’t have room for shaming if I make a mistake.

How many of you have decided that on Monday you are going to start your diet? So you spend all weekend binge eating on all of the junk food you’re going to deny yourself. Then Monday comes and either you feel so beaten down by the idea of restricting your food or you decide you CAN’T do it (“I don’t have the willpower”), so you don’t even try. You give up on the goal of losing weight and getting healthy.

We’ve all done it. I know it.

The same thing goes for setting unrealistic goals. Instead of saying “I’m going to lose 100 pounds!” why not try “I will lose 20 pounds in three months” instead? I certainly didn’t set out to lose 100 pounds! That number was huge in my mind. 50 pounds seemed easier.

How Not To Fail

How do you prevent that? First, I would stop with the “the diet starts on Monday” mentality. Start today. Start this moment. Decline that homemade fudge from your coworker, or deep fried happy hour food with friends. Start today making one small change. Instead of “I’m giving up all unhealthy food and just eating SALAD!” try cutting out the unhealthy foods one by one.

“Today I will have soup and a salad for lunch and not pizza.”

“Today I will bring an apple to work for an afternoon snack.”

“Today I will drink more water instead of soda.”

Choose something small. Choose something you can commit to. Don’t set yourself up for failure before you even start! So what about the exercise?

The same goes for fitness. If you’re just starting out, DO NOT say “I’m going to workout for an hour every single day this week!” God, that sounds exhausting and I haven’t even set one foot inside the gym! Instead, why not try this:

“Today I will walk to the library instead of driving.”

“Tomorrow I will go for a walk during my lunch break instead of eating at a restaurant.”

“Today I will go to the gym for 20 minutes and use the elliptical.”

Easy. Small. Baby steps. Set small goals and then reward yourself when you succeed (don’t use food as a reward!). Don’t beat yourself up if tomorrow comes and you haven’t made it to the gym yet. Take your dog or kids for a walk around the block instead and congratulate yourself for getting off the couch.

mehiking

You have to start somewhere.

QUESTION: Are you an all-or-nothing thinker? How do you change that? 

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