Justified

Back to the Beginning

DEJA VU…

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Well, the cold that I had turned into a sinus infection. 🙁 And it was a pretty bad one, too. My face was throbbing. I went to urgent care and got antibiotics and the doctor also put me on prednisone, which was not my first choice but I was so miserable I said ok.

I spent the next few days on the couch, miserable. 🙁 And the Deja Vu…last time I was sick was November when I had bronchitis and I started watching Gilmore Girls (How I Spent My Weekend). It took me like 7 months, but I finally finished the whole show. And was kind of bummed about it, too. There were a lot of things that annoyed me about the TV show (the co dependence, the binge eating junk food running joke) but overall I really liked it and was sad when I got to the final episode!

Keeping with the finale theme, I also got caught up on Justified. I had no idea that it was the last season and had about half a dozen episodes saved on the DVR. By the last episode came and I saw how things were going, I thought “How can they have another season after this?” And then I realized it was the finale too!

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It was such a good show and the final season was fantastic. On the edge of your seat good and I already miss the characters. Boo!

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Bella loved having me home with her, even though I wasn’t any fun! She kept bringing her ball over to me on the couch wanting to play. Poor baby.

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I’m frustrated with the setbacks I’ve had lately. The foot injury, the back injury, now sickness. It seems like I am destined to go back to the beginning with everything. I haven’t been running in nearly a month, same with lifting weights. During the back injury I was doing the elliptical, walking and swimming only. So I was still working out, but not doing quite what I was used to.

So once I’m over this latest setback, I really will be starting over. Starting over sucks. I was getting pretty good and consistent with my running and was excited about the two 5k’s I signed up for (later this summer/fall). I’m hoping that I don’t have to start at the VERY beginning of running but I might be. Time will tell.

The good news: my back is a lot better. It’s almost all healed. I noticed that it starts to return a little after sitting at work a lot. I’m in the process of getting a standing desk at work, so hopefully that will help. I go back to PT this week and I’m hoping she clears me for all activities. The last chiro appointment I had was Monday the 20th and I don’t feel like I need to go back anytime soon. I hope!

I skipped the gym last week when I was sick and took it slow over the weekend, lots of rest and taking it easy. I did some light working out Saturday and Sunday but nothing too strenuous. I am so over this and ready to get back to normal! Saturday all I did was the elliptical (with light resistance because I could tell I wasn’t quite up for it yet) and then stood in the steam room for awhile (which was blissful).

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I’ve had zero appetite since being sick, but have been eating 3 meals a day (mostly because I had to eat food with the medications I was taking). Basically eggs and toast for breakfast, soup and greek yogurt for the other meals. I’ve been counting my calories, even though I probably didn’t need to during the sickness, but have been staying within my limits for the day. I had planned on weighing myself this week but after taking prednisone? No thank you! I will wait til next month. No need to make myself crazy seeing a number based on the steroids I was taking. My clothes do feel a little looser lately, so I’ll take that as a sign that I’m ok right now. Right now I’m just focusing on feeling better. Then I’ll get back to losing weight.

Saturday evening I met up with my friend Erika at Oaks Bottom Pub. We’d made the plans before I got sick and I was feeling well enough to go out, so didn’t cancel. It was so nice to get out of the house and be social and “normal” (almost). We sat in the back, under the covered patio with Christmas lights and heat lamps, and had dinner and talked for hours. It was so nice! My appetite was starting to come back and I was craving tots, so I got the turkey and brie sandwich with sauteed pears and a side of tots.

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Sunday I slept in super late and just felt really lazy. I originally thought I’d go to the pool but once Sunday arrived the idea of swimming with my sinuses full sounded like a terrible idea. In the end I did the elliptical again. It was easy and low-impact and didn’t require me to have full function of my sinuses and breathing. Being stuffed up when swimming sucks.

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Again I hung out in the steam room afterward, which felt wonderful. Then I spent the rest of the day relaxing and taking it easy. The gym on Sunday was a lot easier than it had been on Saturday but it still took a lot out of me. My hope is that this week is a lot better and by the end of the week I’m back to swimming and running!

An Excuse to Eat

You should hear the kind of rationalization that goes on in my head sometimes. You may read my blog and think I have this weight loss and maintenance thing down! Most of the time I do. But I’m not perfect and I can be just as bad as the next guy who struggles with their weight. Trust me.

One example I can give comes from the time period where I was trying to lose weight. I was probably at 60-70 pounds lost so far and not far from reaching my goal weight. I don’t know what was really going on during this time period that triggered this but I went through a phase of midnight eating. I’m not proud of it. I’m glad I lived alone at the time so I didn’t have to justify to my partner why I was stuffing my face with rice krispie treats at 1 a.m. but maybe that would have been a deterrent. Anyway, I went through this phase and for some reason THOSE CALORIES DIDN’T COUNT. Don’t ask me how I rationalized that. For some reason, anything I ate between midnight and 2 a.m. didn’t count and I didn’t record it in my food journal. Totally bad. I was sabotaging myself (and this is probably one of the reasons I had such a long plateau around this weight).

Think about the last time you ate something and didn’t lot it in your food journal. Why didn’t it “count” for you?

Justified

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I use the word justified?

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Sorry, I’m not talking about Raylon Givens when I used the word “justified.”  I’m talking about all those times we ate something that self-sabotaged our progress and justified our reason for doing so. I am not immune to this! I do it all the time. When I’m cooking dinner with Michael and I nibble and snack and bite on random things while we cook. I’m much better now at including those calories because you BET they count!

“I ran an extra mile today.”

“Work sucked today.”

“I’ve eaten so good all week long!” <–So why don’t we KEEP eating good?!?!

“Swimming in the pool actually burns MORE calories than I think it does because of the temperature!”

The list can go on and on and on as to why we make allowances for the extra snacking. The question to ask ourselves is this: why am I keeping myself from being successful? That damn handful of Reeses’s Pieces don’t taste nearly as good for the 20 seconds I’ll eat them, as reaching my goal will feel!

Entitled

I think this is the biggest trap we all fall into and I think a lot of it has to do with our culture and rituals as a family. How many times have you felt entitled to eat? What I mean by this is the Christmas cookies, the pumpkin pie and extra stuffing at Thanksgiving, the chocolate on Valentine’s Day…what about Superbowl? Or the 4th of July? There are excuses year round we can use to make ourselves feel entitled to overeating.

Check out this post: Emotional Eating: Do You Feel Entitled to Eat? Emotional eating opens up a whole bigger can of worms.

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It’s a vicious cycle. I can’t tell you how many times I got sucked into this cycle when I was a binge eater. Eating half a pizza by myself followed with a carton of ice cream and then wondering why I feel sick and miserable…only to feel even more discouraged and disgusted with myself which leads to more comfort eating.

BREAK THE CYCLE! Instead of focusing on the foods I couldn’t eat or beating myself up for mistakes I made, I focused on my goal and my timeline and I changed my thinking to the positive: I CAN DO THIS. I can lose weight. I can resist the temptation of junk food. I KNOW I CAN. I said it over and over until I believed it and it got easier to resist the junk food.

I’ll Start on Monday

I have a friend that falls into this category. For as long as I’ve known her, she’s been starting a new diet on Monday. As a result of this, she often binges before the diet starts. This is a hard habit to get into because not only does it imply that we’ll be starting a super restrictive diet that we’re most likely going to fail at, we’re probably packing on extra pounds before we even start!

What worked for me to stop this mentality was to realize that I was not on a diet, I was changing my life and creating a new lifestyle. This wasn’t temporary and I wasn’t looking for a quick fix. I was changing EVERYTHING. That helped me stay “on the wagon” when I was tempted to fall off and just start over again. And you know what? Once I started losing a lot of weight, I realized that I had worked really really hard for that success and I didn’t want to mess up and fail! I wanted to keep moving forward.

Don’t wait til Monday. Start today. You’re worth it!

Change

Why not have the reason to eat be “I’m hungry”?

Simple, isn’t it? It’s a hard thing to retrain our minds to listen to what our bodies are telling us. What helped me was eating more whole, natural foods. Also, running and biking helped me look at food as FUEL. Once I changed my mindset to wanting to eat the RIGHT fuel for my body to succeed in athletics, it became super easy to recognize the right signals.

It’s not going to become easy overnight, and it will certainly be something you have to work at. But isn’t it worth it? I thought it was!

QUESTION: Do you make excuses for your eating?