nonscale victories

Light Carb Update #2

My “cheat” meal this week was a little different. I decided to split it between lunch and dinner.

I took Friday off as a me day. I went to physical therapy, then to the gym, ran a few errands and spent the rest of the day relaxing on the couch cuddling with Bella and Yggdrasil and catching up on TV shows. (Currently LOVING Feud!!) I decided I wanted a burrito for lunch (I used leftover shredded chicken in my tortilla) and had some chips and salsa. Then for dinner Michael and I had pork tenderloin and some Trader Joe’s garlic fries. I really wanted mashed potatoes but the fries were a good substitute.

The last few weeks my cheat meals were pizza or a burger on a bun with a beer. Those were very satisfying.

New To Us This Week

After our hike on Saturday, Michael made cauliflower pizza for the first time. I’ve never had it before. Here is the recipe Michael used:

Picking up cauliflower already riced (Trader Joe’s) was a smart move!

I opened a bottle of wine that we bought for my birthday in January:

It was a small pizza, perfect for two people. It turned out pretty good! The downside? It was very time consuming. Michael worked really hard on the pizza and the second downside was the crust stuck to the parchment paper after it was cooked, so that was difficult. We eventually figure out how to salvage the pizza and the paper off the bottom.

How did it taste? Pretty darn good. It was really tasty, much better than I was expecting, but was it as good as a bread pizza? Not quite. Michael thinks we should try again and maybe make the cauliflower a little smaller, and make sure ALL the water was out. I didn’t help much, I was on Logan duty, so I’m not sure how the process went but I think for a first attempt, this was pretty good.

You definitely can’t eat the pizza like normal pizza–all fork eating here! But it tasted really good.

Challenges This Week

The first challenge was cravings. I was feeling a bit run-down for some reason and even though I haven’t been having cravings since those first few days of quitting bread, I started to crave bread. No idea why! I was doing really well, not missing it too much. Then boom. I wanted a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup (which is surprisingly high in carbs! Why?! I don’t understand how tomato soup is almost as high as a sandwich) and then I craved pancakes and French toast! I resisted but I was seriously craving it.

The second challenge was Easter. We went to Michael’s mom’s house for brunch and I knew there would be lots of carbs for breakfast (it’s the same delicious meal every year). Michael did let her know we were doing low-carb and she made a carb-free egg casserole that was really good, so that was nice! I had salad, fruit, many deviled eggs, then the ham and egg casserole.

I skipped the delicious potato, sausage, cheese casserole and went with the egg casserole instead. I did “cheat” and have 1 mini cinnamon roll. It tasted really good, too. 🙁

Victories This Week

Several shirts and a pair of jeans (that have been slightly too tight for months) were suddenly very loose. YAY for NSV!

I’m up 1 pound this week. (Wine, ice cream, Easter candy…) I’m slightly disappointed, but am back on track and we’ll see how it goes next week.

How Do I Look? Or, How Do I Feel?

I’m pretty sure my boyfriend hates that time of the month.

Nope, not THAT time. It’s the one time of the month that I weigh myself. I’ve been doing the once a month step on the scale for about 3 or 4 years now. I had to limit it because I was getting a little too obsessed with whatever that number was and I let it ruin my whole day. It could have been +1 pound (probably water retention) but I still let it totally deflate me. It wasn’t a healthy cycle to get into and since I was pretty much maintaining (within 2-3 pounds both ways), I didn’t NEED to get on the scale every week. In fact, I found that my weight always leveled out and remained the same when I let the hormonal flux each week even out on it’s own. Weighing once a month meant I never saw that 3 pound boost of pre-hormonal water retention. It was like it never happened!

Weighing in once a month took away that obsession with the scale. Or at least, for 3 weeks of the month. Having a set time and day that I weigh each months means that I can check in with myself, catch any slip-ups that might mean I need to reign in the food, and it’s consistent. I was between 143-145 for nearly 4 years.

So why does Michael hate that time of the month? The day (and let’s be honest, sometimes the day before I weigh in) I see that number STILL fills me with anxiety. I anticipate it–“I have to weigh myself this Thursday.” UGH. It’s only Monday but I see that day coming quickly and I start to dread it. I feel like a whiny kid that doesn’t want to do their chores. I just don’t WANNA! But I have to. It’s my check-in.

Depending on what that number is, it can still ruin whatever good body image feelings I’ve been having. I cannot tell you how many times I’m thinking “I feel really good about my body today!” And then I see the number on the scale and that feeling is gone. Replaced with disappointment, sometimes sadness, sometimes self-loathing…but only if I don’t catch myself quickly enough to stop the negative spiral of thoughts. Poor Michael. He has to deal with me throwing a mini temper tantrum in the bathroom if I don’t like that number. He says the same thing every time I don’t like that number: “You’re fine. You haven’t gained weight. It’s water/it’s muscle” etc etc. I appreciate that he says that, but honestly I hate that he feels like he has to and half the time I don’t hear him anyway. I’m stuck in my own thoughts.

For the most part this isn’t an issue. It’s not an every month kind of thing. Just lately. I was doing really well for a long time and when I stopped basically all the cardio I was doing in March of this year (knees again), I started to see my weight go up a little bit. It wasn’t hitting the danger zone yet, but it wasn’t making me happy.

Yet I was seeing such awesome results in the gym! My shoulders were sculpted. My biceps were bigger, my triceps were more toned and slender. I felt like my core strength had increased and I was almost up to a minute doing a plank (honestly, I get bored after awhile and quit instead of keeping the pose to see how far I can go). I saw a picture of myself recently in my cycling jersey and thought, “Wow, my waist looks really slender and my stomach is smaller.” AND my pants are still fitting. I haven’t felt like I’ve grown out of the sizes I’ve worn for 5 years.



Why, then, do I let myself get so bent out of shape about that stupid number that I see once a month? Sadly, this is probably something I will always struggle with. But I’m working on focusing on the positives (my clothes fit, I like how I feel, etc) and not focusing on the negatives.

Can you focus on how you feel and not how you look (or how much you weigh)?